Little Things
by longlivejmo
Summary: Colifer fan fiction. Jennifer Morrison, Colin O'Donogue. Rated M for future chapters. Basic plot: Colin and Jen are stuck at the drive-thru at Starbucks. But, he sings to her, they hold hands, there's photos of them together. Colin's wife, Helen, won't take this well. But Jen and Colin cannot ignore their feelings for one another. Collaboration with @swxnsavior from Instagram.
1. Chapter 1

Colin had picked up Jennifer this morning so they could carpool to work. It was rainy and damp and all he really wanted to do was get inside. Of course, he had to agree with Jennifer when she said that Starbucks would be a good thing. He'd caved in and decided they would go to Starbucks. They had been in the drive-thru for twenty minutes, already late to work. He slumps in the driver's seat, "Bloody hell, why is this taking so long?" He complains.

She sighs, "I'm losing my patience too. We're already late to set." She puts her head against the window and looks out to the rain.

Colin starts to tap his fingers on the steering wheel to a rhythm in his head. Humming, he finds his eyes focusing on her and quickly looks away. She smiles as she listens and tries to face away a little so he won't ask why. She always liked when he sang, and maybe if she didn't say anything, he would. Hums start to turn into lyrics and he grabs a piece of paper and writes them down quickly while they are still in his head, memorizing the lyrics for later. Whenever she was in the car with him, he seemed to make music and lyrics so easily.

Jennifer turns her head and looks at him, interested. She can only read a few words. "Can I hear it?" She asks shyly but with a smile.

He blushes a little, biting his lip. "Um yeah, I don't see why not," He smiles slightly and starts up with the rhythm again. He starts to sing after the first few bars of the song. It starts off lower and raspier (The worst part of his range in his opinion). Then it gets to the middle of his range and his voice is smooth and clear. Then, to his falsetto for a bit. He's lost in his own world now. It's just him and the music. But then his eyes drift to Jen and it's no longer just him and the music. It's him, the music, and Jen.

As she watches him sing, her smile grows wider. Her eyes close as his voice gets slow again and he finishes the song. "I really like it." She says softly, with her eyes still closed and the side of her head resting on the seat, facing him.

He smiles softly, letting his eyes explore the features of her face while she's not looking. Her long eyelashes, freckles, cute-as-a-button nose, the scar on her eyebrow, even the little flakes of mascara that have fallen from her lashes. "Thank you. I'm glad you do," he says back softly, moving the car forward a bit.

She opens her eyes slowly. "Oh, maybe we'll get to set by tomorrow," she chuckles. There are still three cars in front of them, none moving. She looks back at him, "and yes, I've always loved your singing." She smiles, a little too inviting but she can't help it.

He smiles back softly, gently wiping under her eye with his thumb. "There's a little makeup there." She crinkles her nose and closes her eyes again, still smiling. She doesn't know why, but she's always been very vulnerable with him. She can usually push the feeling away when she's around others. But here, alone with him, she finds it very hard to. He smiles slightly and makes sure it's all gone, being very gentle. "Do you want me to go order inside instead?"

"You know you can't really do that," she says, not wanting him to run the risk of crazy fans just for coffee. "We'll be fine. The car isn't that bad." She blushes ever so slightly.

"Except we're late and Adam isn't going to be happy." He frowns and turns himself a little towards her so they could talk.

But she looks back out the window and sighs. "So I guess we'll be here a while." She says a little worried because they had a lot of filming to do today.

"Mhm. I swear the staff has gone on strike or something," he says with a smile.

She chuckles. "Then maybe we _should_ go in…" she says.

"I'm here for an adventure," He smirks. "Are you?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess so," she turns and looks at him with her head tilted down. Looking from under her eyelashes, and with a slight smile, she says, "Let's." He smiles at her and nods and exits the drive-through. She laughs in excitement. They weren't allowed to go out publicly but they were going to do it anyway.

He gets out and opens the door for her. "Right this way, your majesty," He jokes and then grabs sunglasses for both of them. She laughs again slightly and gets out of the car, taking a pair of sunglasses from his hand, their fingers brushing. It takes everything in him not to interlock his fingers with her, but he's not sure why. He bites his lower lip, looking down and putting the glasses on. "Let's rock this joint," He says with a deep voice, laughing.

She laughs a little more, noting how he can make her laugh so much. She puts her shades on too. "Let's go," She says and takes a step forward. He nods and follows her, opening the door for her.

Putting on his English accent, he grins, "after you, love." She smiles to herself, really loving the way he is with her. She finds the register and walks towards it. Trying not to be noticed, she looks down. He follows her. "I'll order," he smiles, going to the nearest one, Jennifer walking behind him.

"Hey," she says "get me a-" she's cut off by him saying her order. "You know me all too well," she laughs slightly.

He smiles wider. "Or you're just very predictable," He teases. The barista interrupts them. "We have a special for couples," she points up to one of the signs above her. Jen looks up to the barista. They've had this problem before. "No, we're not," she says but blushes, "just order, Colin." He bites his lower lip and nods, finishing their order and paying.

She catches herself noticing everything he does. The way he taps his foot, touches his ear, as if nervous. She notices _everything_. As they wait for their order, she looks down at the patterns in the tile but she can see him glancing at her from the corner of her eye. His gaze shifts to her as he waits. He watches the was her nose crinkle when she's deep in thought, notices that yesterday her eyes were green and today they're blue, notices how her freckles show more this time of year. She tries not so smile as she sees how he looks at her. But of course, fails.

He snaps out of his daze when the barista calls his name so he can get the drinks. She looks up too, and takes a step forward to get her drink from him. All seems to go well...no one's noticed. Yet. They make it out the door, Jennifer behind Colin. But, as soon as they're out, a small group of paparazzi awaits them. She sighs in frustration.


	2. Chapter 2

He sighs, keeping Jen behind him. "Let's go," he says quietly, hoping they leave. She stays close to him. As the paparazzi get closer, without thinking, she grabs his forearm. She always felt protected by him. He guides her, gently pushing through the paparazzi, who go wild at her holding him. She notices and lets go, but still keeps close. She didn't want to let go, though. And now she feels alone among the paparazzi. She wants to grab hold of him, but they're snapping photos.

He groans in frustration and turns around. Usually, he wouldn't snap at the paparazzi, but they were really late. "Take your pictures and leave please," he says. He didn't sound angry, but his silence and stern face spoke for that. She walks faster, ahead of him, takes his hand from behind, and leads him to go faster. She really hated that they couldn't even get coffee in peace. He follows her quickly before breaking into a run with her, hands still joined.

They reach the car and she gets in as fast as possible, She let's go of his hand and he goes to the driver's seat. He quickly gets in, backing out of the parking space and driving off. She sighs once they're driving away. "Wasn't that fun?" she says sarcastically, leaning back in her seat.

"Mhm. So fun I could pull my hair out," he replies with a sigh.

She rolls her eyes. "Thanks, by the way," she takes a sip of her drink and looks over at him.

He raises an eyebrow. "For what?" he asks curiously as they pull up to a red light.

She holds up her drink in response, "and for getting me out of there." She says. "Thanks," she touches his arm lightly, "you know how much I don't like paparazzi."

He smiles slightly. "You don't have to thank me. It's what friends do. Although, you do owe me seven dollars for that drink," he jokes.

She laughs a little, "I've already lost a couple hours of work. Low income." She jokingly puts on her pouty face.

He chuckles. "Alright, I guess I can let you off the hook."

She laughs at the reference. "Speaking of Hook, Adam and Eddy are gonna be really mad we're late for our scene together."

"I'll blame your Starbucks craving," he teases as the light turns green.

"You know I have to have my coffee," she says lightly, still looking at him.

He smiles slightly. "Yes, I do. Otherwise I have to deal with a grumpy Jen." He jokes as he starts to drive again.

She laughs once more, "and that's scary, right?" she says jokingly.

"Oh,yes. Horrifying," he laughs.

She looks out the window and her smile fades as she realizes that her morning with Colin is almost over. She loved the time they got to spent together. Soon, they pull up to set and he sighs, pulling out the keys.

"I guess we have to go now," she says a little sadly. Working night hours sucked, but at least she got to be with people she cared about. He sighs and nods, getting out. She gets out just a moment after and they walk together towards set.

He follows behind her, checking in as they enter. "Hey, I enjoyed our little adventure," she says softly so only he can hear her.

He smiles, "As did I." She smiles back and feels her stomach drop...? She quickly recovers, shocked at her own reaction. "See you on set," He says, going to his costume trailer.

She looks around to make sure no one's close. "Can I talk to you later?" she calls back to him.

He nods. "Of course," he says with a smile.

"Come to my trailer for lunch?" She asks, thinking she shouldn't be doing this.

He keeps smiling, thinking nothing of it. "Sure," he responds. And, She goes to her trailer, where they get her ready.

Later, when she goes to set, Adam approaches her, "Try not to be late next time," he says. "Colin already told me." Then, he walk away.

Colin has just finished shooting a scene with Georgina; he makes his way over to where he is supposed to shoot with Jennifer. She sees him and gives him a welcoming smile. She was dressed in a pink dress. They were to shoot a scene from the fourth episode today. He smiles when he sees her. He's wearing his 'mordern Hook' clothes. He bounces her ponytail. "Have fun getting dressed up?" he asks.

"Not my usual jeans and leather jacket, huh?" She blushes slightly, looking down at her dress.

He chuckles, "I've lost twenty pounds by not wearing that long jacket."

She laughs slightly. "You look dashing," she says, still laughing.

He chuckles, thinking she's getting into character. He decides to do the same. Stepping forward, he licks his lips, scanning her with his eyes. "You look stunning, love."

Her breathing stops as he's very close to her, her eyes look down to his lips. She wants to kiss him. What? She shouldn't want that! She takes a step back.

Adam grins, "Perfect! Now, save that chemistry for when we're filming." Jen looks up at Adam, like a kid being caught doing something she shouldn't have been doing. Then she looks back at Colin and blushes.

He smiles, "good rehearsal." At this, she blushes deeper, but she's glad he thought it was acting. Yeah, she needed to talk to him, alright.

They fly by the scene at the apartment, then the one at the restaurant. Then it's time for the kiss scene. Adam smiles slightly, "alright you two. Work some magic." She rolls her eyes; she really didn't like Adam sometimes.

So, they start the scene, at first just talking about going in to have coffee. After a few lines exchanged well, it's time for the kiss. And this time, he gets to have both hands. So, Colin delivers his lines, Hook's asking Emma out again. She's supposed to kiss him. But for some reason, Jen's more nervous than usual this time. But she can't show that. So she goes in slowly for their kiss, which in contact is not a gentle one.

She kisses him like she's supposed to, "with passion" like Adam said. Oh if only he knew her definition of kissing this man with passion. It takes everything in her to not kiss him as much as she wants to. But, just as he kisses back and their fingers intertwine, Adam calls cut. Colin sighs internally. He just felt something. He wasn't sure what or why, but he knew it wasn't right. Adam looks at Jen. "I know it's weird kissing your co-worker, but just loosen up. Relax. Melt into the kiss," he smiles slightly.

"Melt, darling." Colin jokes, in character.

She rolls her eyes, "fine." Great, now she's got to do that again. So, they say the lines prior, she's dreading the moment she has to kiss him again, afraid she'll lose control. Before she knows it, it's time.

He steps a little closer, rolling his hips ever so slightly, but is nowhere near touching her. His smirk disappears, replaced with a serious face. "Will you go out with me again?"

Slowly, she leans in to kiss him again. They both close the distance way too soon for her. She doesn't delay, but opens her mouth once their lips touch, not risking having to do this scene again. As Colin kisses back, Adam tells them to stop. "Too soon guys, Emma's got to linger on the thought, look down at his lips, want him, and then kiss him." Colin nods, and turns back towards her. "At least your lips taste like Starbucks," he whispers teasingly.

She blushes at his comment. This is exactly the type of thing that she shouldn't respond to. He's married. But, they do it again, say their lines, and she leans in once more.

He makes sure to not go in to fast, and leans in, lips connecting with hers as energy flows through their bodies. This is the farthest they've gotten with this kiss in twenty minutes. His fingers slowly connect with hers as they continue to kiss.

She does as she was told. She "melts" into the kiss. Maybe far too much, her stomach drops. They can't put this on TV. She can't make herself not kiss him like this, though. And the weird thing is that Colin is responding. But she's not in character anymore...


	3. Chapter 3

Since that seemed to be a success, Jennifer walks off stage, passing Adam. "Now, that was admirable acting," he says. She nods politely and sits. Soon, Adam dismisses them for lunch. She looks around for Colin. She hadn't seen him leave. So, she just walks back to her trailer.

Colin is already waiting for her, leaning against the side of her trailer, not paying attention, and looking down at his phone. She approaches him, a little nervous. She opens the door without saying a word. She doesn't want to talk to him, though; doesn't want her feelings to come out, though she knows they will.

He comes in, sits on the couch, and smiles slightly just as she turns to him. "Hey, Jen," he pauses, looking at her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." She says. She gives him a face that says, "why wouldn't I be." Then, just smiles reassuringly before she goes to sit next to him, nervous for what's to come. That kiss was far too much from both of them.

He opens his mouth, but can't speak. He takes a deep breath and tries again. "Something's going on and we need to figure it out, Jen. W-we both felt it," his voice is low. He'd decided not to delay this any further.

And he speaks the words she doesn't want to hear. If she'd doubted him feeling the same, now she can't. And that only makes things more complicated. She sighs. "You can't have felt anything, Colin. You have Helen," she says softly.

He leans back, tense. He runs a hand through his hair, sighing, "I know. That's the problem. I have a wife and a child. Whatever this is... I-it can't happen." His head is in his hands now. He's avoiding eye contact.

She closes her eyes as well and leans back in her seat. "Well, we have to do something about this. I have to suck it up and so do you. And we have to stop being together off set," even though it hurts her to say this, she can't risk his marriage.

He nods. "I agree. Starting... Starting now..." It hurts him, too. It hurts him a lot. This can't be happening. He's married, he's got a kid. Divorce isn't an option. It's against all his morals. Why is he even thinking about divorce? He gets up.

She sighs and squeezes her eyes shut. Now, _she_ puts her face in her hands. No, she doesn't want him to go. She just wants him to comfort her and hold her. She wants to kiss him more and more. How is she supposed to pretend nothing's going on? He sighs, watching her. There's so much he wishes he could do, too. But he can't. "Bye Jen," he says quietly, turning to walk out.

"Uh, Colin?" She looks up, pain clearly in her eyes.

Hearing her, he turns back around, trying to hide the hurt and pain. "Yes Jen?" he asks softly.

"Five minutes?" she dares to ask. This is only going to hurt more in the end. But, she gets up and slowly approaches him. He knows what she wants is to kiss him, and he doesn't back away. Instead, he goes closer to her. His eyes flicker to her lips.

Then, he looks back at the door, goes to it and locks it. He couldn't risk anyone finding out. "Five minutes," he says softly. At this, she smiles ever so slightly. And then, closes the distance. Their kiss starts off cautiously, but it's not like that for long. This is all the time they get. Colin's arms wrap around her waist as the kiss deepens. Now, she really melts into the kiss. This is their first and last kiss, and she's aware of that fact. She wraps her arms around his neck and tilts her head back to deepen the kiss. All this time, tears building up under her closed eyelids.

After a while, he can't take it anymore. He pulls away breathless. It hurts too much to keep going. He turns, walks to the door and unlocks it. "See you later," his voice is barely over a whisper. And he doesn't look back at her, he just leaves, that's what makes her tears fall. She doesn't answer him, just slowly backs into the couch and sits, her tears rolling down her cheeks quietly.

Not too long after, when she recovers a bit, she opens the door and walks out. She knows she has to head back to set soon, so she needs to go get lunch. Ginny approaches her, she seemed to be coming to her trailer already. "Um, what is it?" She asks.

"Jen, the press is going nuts, they have photos of you and Colin and they released them to the public. Everyone on social media is talking about it. And Helen already called Colin. What is going on?" she replies in a quick rush of words.

Jennifer doesn't know how to respond, so she just pulls out her phone. Everyone on Twitter is really overreacting. She had just put her arm to his. They had only held hands for a couple minutes. And now the world thinks there's something going on. And even if she couldn't say they were wrong, this is not what she wanted them to think.

Colin had been on the phone with Helen. After finally getting her to calm down, he goes to Jennifer and Ginny. "This is insane," he pulls out his phone, looking at all the tweets. He sighs in frustration.

Jennifer doesn't look up. "What did Helen say?" she asks, trying to act like there's nothing more going on. Ginny's right next to her.

"She was a bit concerned at first, but I explained everything. She's fine now." He says, putting his phone away, not wanting to see anything more. Helen really hadn't believed him, though.

She sighs, "Oh good. Glad she understands," she keeps scrolling through the tweets, anxious by all the talk.

He looks at her with a worried look on his face, then just nods and waves. "I'll see you guys for the next scene," and with that, he walks away from them.

Jen nods. Ginny says, "Jen, it's gonna be fine." Ginny's known her far too long and knows she's tensed up.

Jen looks up, "I guess so. I just don't like people talking about us like that simply because I held his hand." She looks back down, frowning. Ginny sighs and shrugs. "I'm just glad Helen understood," Jen adds.

Ginny gives her a few more reassuring words, and Jennifer nods along and agrees to calm down. Except she knows it won't be okay. And today, Adam's making them shoot all the scenes they have together, like that helps anything.

Colin walks to set and pretends everything's okay. They don't have to kiss anymore, but there were little things here and there. Kissing on the cheek, intertwining fingers, flirting. He only looks at her or talks when they're filming. It takes a lot in him to avoid kissing her more. Whatever the press and public thought of them, was nothing compared to what was really going on.

Please do not hesitate to tell me what you think so far! Feedback is always welcome! Thanks for reading!

Also, you may find me on Instagram and Twitter under long_live_jmo!


	4. Chapter 4

After a long day at work, they've finally finished all their scenes. Colin is hurrying to get home, as Evan is sick. So, he isn't looking where he's going when he bumps into Jennifer. Without even seeing her, he holds his hand to help her up. "Gosh, I'm so sor-" he stops when he realizes it's her.

Jennifer takes his hand to get up. "It's fine. It's fine," she says, getting up. She looks up to his eyes, an enchanting blue. Her stomach does a little flip.

Colin stares at her for a second and then his eyes dart away. "Goodnight," he says quietly.

She keeps her eyes on him, even though he's looked away. "See you later," she says softly but doesn't take a step. He sighs and turns around, but doesn't walk off. Jennifer looks around, and since she doesn't see anyone, "Colin, this isn't gonna work," she says softly.

"You're right," he says turning back to face her, his face torn, "but I don't know what we can do about it yet…"

"Neither do I," she responds sadly. "I don't know if I even want to do anything," she adds under her breath.

He sighs. "Let's just... Let's sleep on it. I've really got to go. Evan has a fever."

"Oh," she looks down, "alright then, goodbye I guess." She shrugs and turns around, walking away.

He contemplates going after her, but stops himself. He's walking to his car when he remembers that she came with him this morning. So, he turns back around, "Jen?"

"What?" she turns around almost angrily. She had forgotten she didn't have her car.

He frowns at her reaction, "do you need a ride?"

She's taken aback. But, after a moment, when she realizes why he's asking she says, "I do." Even if the last thing she wants to do is get in that car with him. "But I can ask someone else. You gotta get home."

"It's fine. Your house is five minutes away from mine. I told Helen I'd be there in twenty minutes. It takes ten minutes to get home."

"Okay," she says softly and hesitates in walking to him. Slowly, Jennifer makes her way there, her heels making noise with every step she takes. She passes Colin, and gets in the passenger's seat. He gets in too and starts the car, not saying a word.

She doesn't say anything either. But she thinks of how perfect things where earlier, last time they'd been in the car. She looks out the window, and time drags on slowly

He sighs in the deafening silence and drives to her house. Not too long after, he's pulled up in her drive way. "Have a goodnight," he says softly. His voice is filled with tension and confusion, but also pain.

She can't make herself leave as quickly as she wants to. So she turns to face him. Her instincts make her say, "It's gonna be alright," when she hears the hurt in his voice, even if she doesn't believe the words.

Colin sighs, "I'm not so sure about that, Jen." And that's the truth. In fact, he's ninety-nine percent sure it won't be alright.

She sighs as well, "yeah okay, it's not gonna be alright, but we have to make it be." She stops herself from saying, "if only you weren't married..."

He nods. "Night, Jen."

She sighs in frustration. "Are you working tomorrow?" She says, really hoping the answer is no.

"Only half the day," he replies, not very happy about it. That means he'll have to deal with this all over again.

"Okay," she says and opens the door to get out. Maybe she would just skip work tomorrow. He sighs one more time and waits for her to get inside before driving home.

Once she is, she hurries to her bedroom, ready to cry herself to sleep. Never had she had good luck when it came to men. Ava greets her and Jennifer picks her up, already crying into her. Ava nuzzles her, trying to make her feel better.

A little while later, Jen had put her phone down, not wanting anything to do with that for now. But before she's consumed in her tears, she remembers she hasn't tweeted her one hundred and one smiles today. She tries not to even skim her mentions when she gets on Twitter, but it's impossible. Everyone's seen the photos, and most aren't happy about it because of Helen. Jennifer quickly tweets something and gets away from her phone, and back to Ava.

* * *

><p>Back at home, Colin walks in, taking off his jacket and setting his bag on the floor. He heads upstairs to find Evan nearly asleep in his crib. Helen is in the kitchen. Colin helps Evan fall asleep, rocking him to sleep for a couple of minutes.<p>

Helen comes up to their bedroom after Evan's asleep. She leans against the doorframe and watches Colin already in bed, on his phone. He frowns, seeing the tweets that Jennifer is getting and wondering weather he should say something now or in the morning on Twitter.

He sighs and tries not to pay attention to those tweets but he can't help it. "_Jen didn't do anything wrong. We were just trying to get to work on time. Remember that she's human too, she has feelings too. Have a goodnight everyone_," He tweets

Jen doesn't see this. She ends up falling asleep with Ava cuddled to her after having cried far too much than she should have for something like this. And it wasn't only the press; it was that she couldn't separate what she felt and what she should feel anymore...

Colin sighs and locks his phone, staring at the ceiling. This morning, their days spent together, everything was gone between them. They were cracking jokes, having fun, going on a 'secret mission'. He shouldn't have feelings for Jen. He was married. He sighs in frustration and grabs his phone again, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. "_Jen is an amazing person. I really enjoy working with her. Sending her hate is uncalled for_," he tweets.

Helen speaks up, "What are you doing?" she says and comes in to sit at the edge of the bed.

He locks his phone and puts it back on the stand. "Dealing with the press issues from today," he sighs, running a hand through his hair.

She eyes him cautiously. "So if you were guiding her, why was _she_ pulling you by your hand?" She asks, obviously still not over it.

"We switched spots. You know how much she hates paparazzi. She went in front because she wanted to get away faster," he explains.

"And you can't get away from the paparazzi without her pulling at you?" Helen knows Colin spends a lot of time with Jen. She's seen their chemistry. She knows that it can't be nothing.

"It's was noting Helen, alright? It was instinctive, in the heat of the moment; our main focus was getting away," he's a little frustrated.

She rolls her eyes, "whatever." Then she goes to her side of the bed and lies down with her back towards him, not saying another word.

He sighs and turns over, setting his alarm for earlier than usual. Maybe seeing Jen would make it worse, but she needed the support.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Jen gets up a little later than she should, not being able to sleep any longer. She goes through her usual routine and shortly leaves her house. As she drives to work today, in her frustration, she doesn't even stop for coffee. She gets to set very soon and goes straight to her trailer. The crying from last night shows in her eyes.<p>

Colin, who's also making his way to work at this time, had thought about her all night, and barely gotten enough sleep. His face shows it; his hair is a beautiful kind of messy, as well. However, on his way to set he picks up Starbucks for Jennifer. He arrives about ten minutes after her, and walks straight to her trailer. He knocks and waits patiently, unsure if she'll open for him.

Of course she doesn't think it's him, so she doesn't hesitate in opening the door.

He stands there with Starbucks in his right hand and her pair of sunglasses that she left in his car in his left hand. Her world shatters once she sees him standing there; the night was clearly not easy in him either. She shuts her eyes and steps aside, not saying anything, but letting him in.

He comes in and closes the door, not saying anything. He just places the Starbucks in her hand and she takes it. After he closes the door and sits, she just stands there and leans against it. She doesn't want him here. To be honest, she does. But it can't happen. He's married.

"Look, I'm sorry that all of this happened I just…I saw all the comments on Twitter and…I thought I should be here to support you," he's the first to speak up after a couple more minutes of silence.

Her eyes fly open. "You did what?" She says a little harshly and rushes to where she left her phone. She hadn't checked Twitter since last night. She just hoped he hadn't made it worse.

"Last night when Twitter blew up, I tweeted. I'm not sure if you saw, but yeah."

She's looking through her feed. It doesn't take too long. He'd asked to not send her hate, in short. Something he didn't have to do. She walks over to him and stands in front of him, he stays seated. "Thank you," she says. Even if his tweets had only made the public think more of what happened, it was still kind of him.

He nods. "You're welcome," he says, hoping his second tweet about her didn't make too much of a commotion. But in fact, it did.

She sits next to him and sighs. "This is a problem," he says softly.

He frowns, "Yeah, Helen isn't exactly happy either."

At this she sighs again, this time in frustration. Frustration directed at the situation. "She sees it too?" Helen can't just be mad about the photos from yesterday.

"She thinks you over reacted by grabbing my arm and then hand to get away from the paparazzi," he groans.

And she knows she shouldn't have done that. "I'm sorry." Jennifer says softly. She never meant to cause problems with Helen.

"Don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong." Colin says with the slightest sliver of a smile.

She looks down to his lips and frowns. "Don't do that," she shakes her head. "You're making it very hard for me."

"Don't do what?" He asks confused as he furrows his brows.

"Don't smile at me like that," she says softly, ashamed that something so simple is making her react. Just the thought of him did, anyway.

He curls his lips in. "Sorry," he mumbles. His eyes flicker down to her lips, but he quickly pulls them away.

Jennifer notices and puts her head in her hands. "Do you know what we're going to do about this yet?" she asks.

Colin shakes his head. "Not yet," he frowns. What were they going to do?

"And it's impossible to not see each other," she shuts her eyes tighter. She still wanted to see him, of course.

"It's impossible to avoid each other, as well. I don't even want to do anything like that," he adds.

She bites her lower lip. She was afraid he would say that. It's already bad enough that he has feelings for her and is married. Yet she can't stop herself from saying back, "Neither do I."

He sighs, burying his head in his hands, "what the hell are we doing to ourselves?"

"We're torturing ourselves, when we know what we want," Jennifer whispers. As soon as the words are out, she wishes she could take them back. She turns to look at him cautiously.

He sighs but nods, agreeing with her. "I really have no idea what to do, Jen... If I wasn't married this would be so much easier..."

She smiles slightly. "Exactly," she says softly, "and I don't like being a masochist." Turning her body so she's facing him, she puts her hand on his forearm.

He smiles slightly. "Nor do I," he sighs and looks down, then smirks as he picks up her latte from the coffee table where she had placed it and takes a sip.

She smiles a little more and looks into his eyes. "What are we doing?" She asks again. This time sounding more like 'What should we be doing'.

"I do believe you weren't drinking the Starbucks I purchased you," he says, taking another sip, "Mmm."

She laughs slightly and takes it from him. "How did you know I didn't get one this morning?" she takes a sip now.

"I just assumed you were too upset and skipped it," He shrugs and smiles slightly.

"Well you were right," she takes another sip. "Thank you," she says and smiles genuinely at him.

His smile widens at seeing hers. "You're welcome," he pauses, "Jen? We really need to figure this out. I...I miss the way we used to be."

"So do I, but it can't be the same again." She says, even if she wants it to all be alright, she had figured out she had too many feelings for him yesterday.

He sighs. "I know..." He wished that none of this had happened. That they were still making jokes with each other, still carpooling and talking about anything they wanted. Not that he regretted his feelings for her; it was just very hard in their position.

"If you can forget it, then go ahead," she says, hurt. "I can't, but who cares?" She doesn't. She doesn't even want to hide her feelings from him. She can't.

"That's the thing, Jen," his voice cracks when he says her name. "I can't forget it. I just..." he buries his head in his hand, "I don't want to make things worse."

Instinct tells her to comfort him. She places her hand on his shoulder. But she shouldn't be doing that, so she lets it slide off, down his arm, slowly. "I don't want to forget it," she says. That kiss had been the most she had felt in a long time, and she'd loved that feeling.

"Neither do I," he says, looking down. He runs a hand through his hair. "What are we going to do?" He asks quietly. What he really wanted to do was just pull her into a hug, to kiss the top of her head, to let her know that everything was going to be okay. But that was all wrong.

And that's all she wants, for him to comfort her, to be in his arms. "We could do nothing..." She searches for his eyes, and hopes he'll look up to meet hers. He sighs and looks up, his stunning blue eyes meeting her indescribable green ones. "It would be so much easier on us..." She continues softly. "Do you want to?" What was she doing? Asking for an affair? She wasn't thinking clearly at all.

"I..." he pauses, "I just don't want you to get in trouble..." Yes. His answer was yes. He wanted to.

Jennifer shakes her head, "what do you want? Let me judge what I can handle." She still holds his eyes with hers.

"I want to be with you." He whispers.

Her stomach drops as he says the words she wants to, but shouldn't want to, hear. "Me too..." She whispers back

"Then we'll figure this out." He whispers.

"I'm not gonna," She says and leans forward. Her eyes beg for him as she makes her way to meet his lips. Colin leans in a little, looking into her eyes to make sure that she's okay with this. She closes the distance, whispering, "it's okay," just before their lips touch.

And this time they don't kiss like the last. She kisses him softly, like their time together is just beginning. He savors this kiss. It's soft and gentle but passionate. Their lips move on sync as his hands wrap loosely around her waist. Her heart races, she kisses him slow, to make the kiss last. And this is the longest they've kissed. To her, it all feels right.

Eventually Colin pulls away, slowly, letting his lips linger on hers. Reluctantly, she does as well. Licking her lips as they leave his. He touches his lips, savoring the way they felt against hers. Jennifer watches him and bites her lower lip. She raises her eyebrows in question. Without hesitation he leans forward, kissing her again.

She smiles into the kiss. They kiss just short, but passionately. Something's starting here. "Mmm..." She hums, "so much better."

"Agreed," he says quietly with a smile. Kissing her felt so natural and effortless, so right.

Her hand is loosely around his shoulder from their kiss. "I hope Emma and Killian kiss more..." But would she be able to do that without wanting to pull him somewhere they could be alone? She was willing to take the risk.

"You and me both," he chuckles slightly, "I'll make sure to mess up." He was so much happier with her. He was going to have to talk to Helen about this, very soon.

She laughs a little. "I will too," she sighs. She knew it would just be easier if they didn't push the feelings away, even if it's not right.

They both look into each other's eyes as they smile and unconsciously fall deeper in love. But then, there's a knock on the door. They both quickly get up, becoming more aware. Colin goes to the door and Jennifer goes to stand by her mirror, away from him.

He opens the door to see Adam. "Hey," he smiles politely.

Jennifer relaxes and sits. She takes a sip of her coffee. Feeling much better she says, "Hi, Adam," and waves.

He smiles back at both of them and turns to Jen. "Glad to see you're feeling better. I didn't know you were filming with Colin this morning?"

"Well we're both scheduled for filming today. I don't know what your plans are." She shrugs.

He nods, thinking for a second. "Can I come back and get you both in an hour to film?"

"Yeah sure," she says, "I don't have any plans. I'll be here." She makes herself not look at Colin, in an effort to keep things under control.

Adam nods. "Alright, see you soon," he smiles and heads out.

Colin closes the door behind him and Jennifer gets up. She walks to him. "You hear that?" She says smiling wider than before. "We have an hour."

* * *

><p>Hey! Please make sure to leave me some feedback, as my commitment to this depends on what my audience thinks of it. If you'd like to reach me in a different way, both my Instagram and my Twitter are long_live_jmo. Thanks for reading!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

"One hour," Colin smiles, closing the door. "What would you like to do?"

Jennifer blushes, "We could just share my coffee if you want...?" She giggles.

He grins. "That's why I brought it, isn't it?"

"Yeah sure, if that's all you want to do," she holds out the drink for him, "I'll wait my turn then..." She's still smiling.

He chuckles, "if you insist." He takes a sip, and then hands it back to her. As she takes it and drinks he says, "Cherry lips gloss, right?"

She blushes deeper. "Yeah," she says softly and steps closer to him. "But we have an hour, captain. I'm afraid you're gonna need to get us more coffee to last that long."

"More coffee?" Colin raises an eyebrow with a slight smirk. "How about you come with me and we can get some coffee together?"

"If you want me to," she says her tone flirty. She stands on her toes and pecks his lips lightly.

"I do," he grins, moving away from her, "but you'll have to drive this time." He grabs the keys, tossing them to her.

Jennifer rolls her eyes, catches the keys and throws them on the table. "As much as I love coffee," she reaches for him and puts her arms around his neck, "I did tell Adam I wasn't going anywhere..."

He wraps his arms loosely around her waist, pulling her closer. "That's true. I guess we'll have to stay here. What a pity," he shrugs.

"Tell me about it," she says with fake regret. "And without that, I don't know what we'll do..." she looks into his eyes and her little game breaks. She giggles, "come here." She pulls him down into a kiss.

Colin uses his free hand to lock the door, not needing anyone to see. "Gladly," he says, pressing his lips against hers. She smiles and kisses him back. Slowly Jen walks backwards, heading to the couch. He follows her slowly, his lips still on hers. She backs up into the couch and slowly sits on it, Colin following. There, she leans back and lets him kiss her, the feelings she's been holding back, rise to the surface. Hovering over her, he keeps kissing her slowly but deeply for a moment. Then, he breaks away for a second, sitting down and pulling her into his lap.

Jennifer lets herself get carried away by him. Her legs wrap around him unconsciously, as his arms warp around her back and he pulls her against him, leaving no space between their bodies. She kisses him harder, their tongues tangle in impatience. Her hands are in his hair, as one of his hands comes up to caress her cheek.

She slows down as she thinks of how far this could go. Colin breaks away for air, but he trails kisses from her cheek down to her neck, back and forth. Jennifer knows she can't let this go far. Not yet. Still she brings his lips back up to hers and claims them in a feverish kiss. If he doesn't stop, she'll make sure to if they go too far.

After a few more minutes, he pulls away breathless. "Jen...?" he breathes.

Her eyes flutter open, "Yeah?" It hasn't been that long, has it...? She doesn't care. Her lips brush his in a kiss that leaves her wanting more.

"Twenty minutes," he whispers with a chuckle.

"Okay?" she looks at him. "Do you need to go?" He did. Captain guy liner wouldn't happen by magic.

Colin laughs and nods, "I should go. See you later?"

"Of course," she nods and gets off him, laughing. "We act like we're eighteen," she giggles and gets up, having to call for makeup.

He chuckles and gets up, then pecks her lips softly. "That's not such a bad thing."

She shakes her head. "I don't mind," she whispers and pecks his one last time. "See you later," she whispers against his lips and pulls away. She goes to sit in front of her mirror. "Bye," she calls out.

He smiles and licks his lips, unlocking the door and walking out. "Bye."

After he's gone, she sits back on her chair and touches her lips. She closes her eyes. That had been amazing, but if this had been their first time, the possibilities of what they could become scared her.

When she recovers, she quickly calls for someone to come do her makeup. And the time drags on until she can see Colin again.

Finally, dressed like Emma already, she walks to where they're filming. It seems like this scene is before the dinner one, outside. Jen walks over to Adam at their usual meeting spot. "So what are we filming today?" she asks.

They filmed out of order, of course. So when he responds, "The 'be patient' scene," she smiles. "I know that one," she says with a crinkle of her nose, looking over the script. It had been one of her favorite scenes. She looks around, "is Colin here yet?"

He nods, "He's just getting a bite to eat. You should too. This scene might take a while."

"Oh, I'm fine," she shrugs. She knows that with her and Colin's newly discovered feelings towards each other, it shouldn't take too long.

He smiles, "We'll be leaving in about ten to shoot the scene, then." With that, he walks away. She nods, then goes to sit as she waits. Colin gets there just a few minutes before it's time; everyone hops in golf carts and leaves.

Quite soon enough, they are in the middle of the woods, and have started to shoot. It takes a very long time for them to film a fight with an invisible snow monster. But everyone's having fun, especially Lana as she gets to save the day. After what feel like a hundred takes, Adam calls cut for the last time and tells everyone to take a seat. Except for Jennifer and Colin, who have one last little scene to film.

And it is easy for them both. It had always been easy to act naturally with him. So now Emma's suggesting going home to watch Netflix, and that doesn't seem like a bad idea to try for real. Killian's going on about her avoiding him. He's hurt by the fact that she's being so evasive and doesn't understand. Then, as the scrip requires, she tells him that she's guilty about ruining Regina's happiness. But he wants to be supportive. She knows he can see right through her, Emma does. Here, Jennifer leans in for a kiss. It's supposed to be very short, and she knows that but still, when she kisses him, it's far too much. So they have to film it again.

This entire time, Helen had come to set, as well. She was here because of Evan, but was currently watching Jen and Colin as she waited for them to finish. She observes as they had to film again and again, that kiss. Jennifer kept giggling every time they messed up and had to do it again, and Colin was giving Jen flirty faces, making comments she could not hear. She was getting tired of it. No one else noticed what she did. The crew was too caught up in their job, and the cast were on their phones, or silently talking to each other.

Finally, they'd fooled around too long and had to get it right. Colin gives Jennifer a look that says they should do it properly this time. Jennifer nods, that's enough for now. So they get it right this time, hoping they didn't mess around too much for anyone to notice.

Adam calls cut and smiles, "Great job, guys. That one looked perfect to me!"

Jennifer smiles politely and walks off set, as if nothing had happened. She reaches Adam and asks, "Anything else today?"

He shakes his head "Nope, that's all."

"Alright," she nods. After saying goodbye to everyone, she heads back to her trailer. This entire time, smiling to herself over Colin, unaware Helen had witnessed everything.

Colin stays back, he has to film a short scene with Georgina and then he's free. Helen makes sure Colin doesn't see her and heads along the same path as Jen, making her way to her trailer

As soon as Jennifer hears the knock, she smiles, thinking it's Colin. "Coming," she calls out happily. She opens the door with an inviting smile on her face, one that in seeing Helen, quickly dissolves.

Helen walks in, with no invitation. She doesn't look the least bit pleased. She closes the door behind her. "Care to explain why you were kissing my husband so much and giggling every time you messed up?" She asks angrily.

"Uh, good afternoon Helen," Jennifer says, "Did you...watch the scene from earlier, was it?" She's acting as normal as she possibly can.

"Yeah, I did. And I don't think re-filming it that many times was necessary," she snaps, crossing her arms across her chest.

She takes a step back. "Okay," she shrugs, "we were messing around a little." She can't pretend nothing happened; Helen would never fall for that. "But most of the time we just didn't get it right. You know that Adam wants things perfect," she says cautiously. Hoping Helen believes her.

"Messing around?" she narrows her eyes, "so it was on purpose?!" She's furious. "You little..." She shakes her head, clenching her jaw. "Messing around?! With my husband?!"

"Helen. We're friends. I didn't mean any harm," Jennifer responds defensively, "It's our job to kiss on screen!" Now she's starting to get mad. "It's not gonna happen again, I'll try to not mess up!" Taking a deep breath, she adds softly, "I don't want to ruin your marriage."

Helen glares at her. "Friends don't mess up on purpose," she pauses. "You already have ruined it. I see the way he looks at you."

Now Jennifer tenses up. She thought she had this under control. "Colin doesn't look at me in any way," she attempts, but her voice comes out weakly. "I-" she takes a deep breath. "There's nothing going on. I swear."

"If there is something going on, I know that Colin would tell me. If he doesn't, then I'll believe you…" her voice softens. "I'm sorry for snapping, I just… He's been so distant from me for the last little while and..." she sighs and then furrows her brows. Why was Jen being so nice? Most likely because she was keeping a secret, too? "Don't talk to me," her voice is loud again, and with that, she turns around and opens the door again.

Jennifer stands there, confused by Helen's reaction. "Wait, Helen?" She calls to her as she steps out. Jennifer follows and is met by the sight of Helen and Colin right outside her trailer. This wasn't going to be good.

Colin looks at the two women confused. They had never really talked all that much, why would they now? Helen turns and looks at Jen, "_What_?" Then she turns to Colin, "Why did you come here, Colin?" she asks harshly.

"I-" Jen looks at Colin, her eyes show her alarm. Colin can see it and can tell that Helen knows something. "Can you explain to her please?" Jennifer says softly.

He sighs and nods, taking Helen's hand and pulling her to his trailer.

"I swear it was nothing," Jen calls out to her, she gives Colin one last, desperate look, then gets in her trailer and shuts the door. Inside, Jen sits down and puts her head in her hands. Now she'd ruined it all, Colin's marriage and her own feelings. She wonders if she should have gone along, but just decides she would just wait for a call or text from him, instead.

In his trailer, Colin sits on the couch and turns to Helen, "So, we need to talk..." Should he tell her the truth? Or should he cover up?

Helen stays standing. She puts her hands on her hips, "Talk about?"

"Everything," Colin says with a sigh, not sure where to start.

"Then talk," she says harshly, not giving him any breaks.

He takes a deep breath, "Things have changed Helen, and..." he sighs and puts his face in his hands, "I don't want this to hurt you but it will."

She tenses up. "What...?" She says softly, her voice tainted with disbelief. So there was something going on... And Jennifer had been lying?!

"I'm sorry…" he whispers, "and I know that's not enough, I just don't know. We were so young when we got married. Had only been together for six months."

"What about Evan?" She asks, her tone is now cold. "And what about our life right now?"

"I don't know, Helen... I wanted to figure everything out before I told you. I don't know what to do."

"You're doing this because of her, aren't you? Jennifer's the reason!" she accuses. "Looks aren't everything, Colin. She's got everyone at her feet, just because she's pretty!" she groans.

"I know that looks aren't everything Helen, and it's not just looks! I... I don't know how this happened.. I'm sorry, you don't know how horrible I feel but I can't pretend that nothing's going on..."

"Explain it to me! Because I don't see how it all changed in one day!" She's furious, nearly screaming.

"Not just one day... It's been a while. I've only just realized it in the past few days," he looks up.

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever you say, don't worry about me. Go have fun with her!" She says, her tone changing to disgust. She storms out of his trailer, not caring.

"Helen!" He calls, going after her.

She hurries to her car. "Stop chasing after me! You clearly don't want me!" she shouts to the man rushing behind her.

He doesn't listen, "I want to figure this out without hurting you more than needed! You don't deserve any of this!"

"No, there's nothing to figure out. Leave. I don't want you either!" She blurts out.

"Wait, what?" He comes to a stop, in the middle of the parking lot.

She's still walking to her car. "I don't love you. Leave me alone!" she shouts and gets in and even starts the car.

He reacts and gets there in time to open the passenger's door and get inside her car. "Just because my feelings have changed doesn't mean I don't care about you. I still care about you Helen. I don't want you to hurt so much."

She turns to him slowly. "Whatever. I really don't care. Get out of my car," she says very angrily.

"Helen... Please just let my try to make this easier..." he begs.

"I don't want you to. I really don't care. Colin, I don't love you," She says that last part slowly, like she's talking to a child.

"You're just mad..." He says, not believing. She couldn't just decide she didn't love him on the spot, could she?"

"Like you said, we grew apart. I'm mad it had to come to Jennifer separating us, but I didn't love you anymore, anyway." She says coldly.

He furrows his brows, stunned he tilts his head to the side curiously, "When did this happen?"

"Over time, Colin. I don't feel like we're supposed to be married. I'm not in love," she responds.

"Oh..." He trails off, utterly surprised. "So, why _are_ we still married? Why didn't you ever tell me if it's been like this for a good amount of time?"

"I thought you were happy. Like you said, just because I'm not in love with you, doesn't mean I don't care about you. And I couldn't do that to Evan just because I didn't love you. But now that we know we both don't love each other, we can't stay together," she's much calmer now.

He nods slowly, "We need to get this figured out quickly, hurting the least amount of people possible. And we need to figure things out with Evan..."

"He'll be okay. He's young. And I need to go," she motions for him to get out. "Just consider it settled. That's all. Please go and talk to Jen. I bet she feels terrible." While Helen was still mad at Jennifer, she didn't want her to go on feeling bad about it.

He sighs. "Alright... I'll see you later..." he feels horrible too. He's so confused with his choices and feelings and everything that's happened. He can't think straight.

* * *

><p>It's been a long time. Jennifer's a mess of tears and frustration. She felt terrible for doing that to Helen. And she was pissed at herself for letting her feelings get the best of her. Colin still hadn't contacted her.<p>

There's a knock at her door. She slowly gets up, in hopes that it's him. She opens and finds the only person she wants to see right now. Her crying is evident in her eyes. She throws herself at him in a hug.

He wraps his arms around her firmly, kicks the door shut gently and kisses the top of her head. "Shh, it's okay," he whispers, keeping his lips on her forehead, "I figured everything out. It's okay now."

She sighs but her tears are rolling. And she doesn't know why. "What happened?" she asks softly, keeping her arms around his neck, but looking up into his eyes.

He wipes her tears, "Helen and I have fallen out. She hasn't loved me for some time, I don't love her. We didn't want to hurt each other. We yelled. Then we talked things out. We're all going to figure everything out, but until then we have to keep us a secret."

She's a little confused, but she doesn't really care right now. She just wants to be in his arm. She only knows she'll be able to be with him now, and that's enough.

He holds her close, moving them to the couch. "It's going to be okay," he whispers.

She nods. "I really hope you're right," she whispers, "Helen seemed pretty mad at me."

"I think it was in the heat if the moment," he whispers back, still holding her close as he sits with her on his lap.

She looks up to meet his eyes and asks "Stay here with me? I think I really like you..." She adds very softly.

"Of course," he smiles, then his voice drops, making his voice raspy and sexy. "And for the record, I think I really like you, too."

"No, really?" she teases, and laughs a little. "I..." she whispers ever so slightly, then gives up on what she was about to say.

"What?" he asks quietly. "You what?" he raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know," she keeps her voice at a whisper, looks back down, places her head on his chest and hugs him a little tighter.

"That's quite alright," he's still smiling, hugging her back.

"Okay," she closes her eyes. He knows what she was about to say, but she's not ready to say it yet. And he's alright with that. She smiles genuinely.

"I'm glad this all worked out."

She sighs, "Are you sure? What is everyone gonna think if they see me with you just as soon as you divorce her?" she doesn't want to seem like the one to break up the marriage, even though she was part of the reason.

"That's why we have to keep it a secret for a little while. Just until things are cleared and sorted out."

"That's so difficult to do when we've got the press watching our every move." She looks back into his eyes.

He sighs, and caresses her cheek, "I know. We've just got to be extra careful."

"Okay," she whispers and reaches up to kiss him. She kisses him softy, then says, "So, um, you don't have anywhere to stay, do you?" She bites her lower lip, blushing. She's happy she gets him all to herself. This wasn't so hard.

He frowns and shakes his head. "I've got to pick up my stuff but I don't think I'll do that until things cool off."

"So where will you stay?" She frowns. "Is Helen gonna let you stay with her still, or?"

"I'm not sure. I should have asked..." he sighs.

"But just so you know, I have a guest room," she laughs slightly. Then looks at him seriously so he knows she means it.

He chuckles, "Thank you. I call her and see. I let you know what I find out."

She nods, "Okay, good." She gets up. "_Now_ do you wanna drive to Starbucks?" she asks smiling.

"I thought you couldn't leave?" He raises an eyebrow teasingly even though he knows that she can.

She rolls her eyes, "If you'd rather not leave..." She raises her eyebrows this time.

"We can go. But if we do, we've got to act like everything is neutral."

"I know." she nods, "I think I can do that. No holding your hand this time. Got it."

He smiles and pecks her lips softy, "Let's go?"

"Let's go," she grabs the keys.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi! Thanks for reading again! Wasn't that painfully long? Haha! I hope you all enjoyed it. I've now aligned everything so I may develop my real plot. So, in the next chapter, look out. I know this seems like everything's settled, but it is now that things really start to heat up. Anyway, please leave me a little feedback, so I may know what you're thinking!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

They go to Starbucks, and spend the afternoon together, but mostly out of sight. Late afternoon, in his car, they head back to her house. She didn't go back to set for her car. He'd pick her up the next morning. And this is how their routine went for a good amount of weeks. At some point in the middle of that time, he moved in with her. No one on set thought anything more was going on than the fact that Colin was divorcing Helen. Jennifer acted very neutral about it all. If anything, she seldom spoke to him in public or laughed at something he had said. At home, it was all completely different for them. But today, he was getting the divorce papers signed by Helen, so he had to go over to his former home again.

Colin quickly kisses Jennifer goodbye and grabs his key, getting in the car and driving to Helen's. He was glad everything had worked out. He had hurt the least amount of people possible. He just had to get this over with.

Jennifer watched him leave. Then she went with Ava up to her room to watch Netflix or something. She had been happy with him these weeks, and now that the divorce was finalizing, soon she could be with him in public.

Colin arrives at Helen's house very soon. Not delaying it, he gets out of his car and goes to knock on the door. Helen is expecting Colin and the divorce papers. She just needed to sign this and there would be no more marriage. She opens when she hears his knock. "Come in," she says and heads to the study. He smiles politely and nods, following her.

Once there, she takes a seat. Colin says, "So all you need to do is sign some things, okay?"

Helen hesitates, and suddenly appears nervous. "Hey? I have to tell you something." She needs to tell him before she signs those papers. But she's scared to. He has a good thing going with Jennifer, and Helen cares too much for Colin to ruin that. But she can't keep it to herself.

He furrows his brows, but looks at her with a soft smile. "Of course, what is it?" he asks a little confused. What would she need to tell him?

She takes a deep breath. "I'm still gonna sign the papers, I just need you to know something. And this doesn't change anything. We don't have to stay married," she hesitates to continue. "Sit, please."

He does as he's told. "W-What is it...?" he asks concerned.

Once again, Helen takes a deep breath. "Nothing's gonna change. But Colin," she leans forward a little, resting her elbows on the desk and putting her face in her hands, "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my..." Colin closes his eyes and mimics her position. "Pregnant? Are you sure?" he whispers after a while.

"Yes," she responds. She looks up and sees a torn, beautiful man in front of her. One that she cares for yet doesn't love. One that she's carrying a child of... "I made sure before I told you. Colin, I'm sorry," she says softly.

"W-I…I can't just leave you alone to take care of a baby. I'm already leaving you with one child. I..." he speaks quickly, then bites his lips in, not knowing what to do. "Oh my gosh..."

"Yes you can. I'm not going to let you stay. We both don't love each other. But I love our children. We can take turns with Evan, of course. I can take care of this baby. You don't need to worry about me. Just-It's gonna be alright, really." she lets out the breath she had been holding, glad that the truth is out, but regretting seeing how conflicted Colin is.

"Are you positive?" Colin asks softly, after thinking for a moment, "I don't want this to be too much for you. I may not love you, but I still care about you," he says.

"I'm sure," she nods, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he sighs, "I guess so. I'll visit, though."

"Okay, give me the papers," she says, ready to sign them.

He nods and does so. She takes them and signs all she needs to. "You'll be the judge of who you tell, but it's not an issue, since we can't really be together. It will just be me having a baby," she shrugs, "Are you sure you're okay, I didn't want to make you feel bad." Even though she knew this wasn't going to go well.

He nods. "I'm okay. I mean, of course I'm not mad about it. But if you need _any_ help or support at all you let me know, okay?" he says before signing as well.

"Yes, I will," she nods, "I'll just need you to care for Evan when I have to go for checkups, you know? That's all."

Colin nods slightly, "I'm happy to take care of him anytime."

"Okay," she gets up. "Do you want to see him before you leave? You haven't in a while..." she says, looking a little sad at that realization.

He nods. "Yes please. I'd like that," he responds softly.

She smiles slightly and heads upstairs to Evan's room. Colin follows behind. "He'll be so happy to see you," she says as she opens the door. Colin steps in and sees a sleeping Evan in his crib.

He goes over to Evans crib and picks him up and kisses his forehead. "Hey buddy," he whispers. Evan moves a little and wakes slowly. He's old enough to know his dad. He smiles at Colin, his eyes are now wide open. Evan's sleepy, but smiling at his dad. "Since I haven't spent time with him, mind if I drop him off later? I'd like to take him to the park or something," he says. Helen considers it for a moment. "Yeah just-" she stops. It's not like Jennifer hasn't been around Evan and Colin before. "Yeah it's alright. Go ahead." she smiles reassuringly.

"You sure?" he smiles a little, holding Evan close.

"Oh, Yeah," she nods and fixes up Evan's bag. "Bring him back not too late, okay?" She asks.

He nods. "Of course," he smiles, taking the bag.

Soon, he's out of the house with Evan. And he doesn't want to do anything but be with him. The park isn't much fun to a baby who can barely walk. Colin heads back to Jennifer's house.

Jennifer's with Ava still, she'd fallen asleep there watching TV in bed. But she wakes when she hears the doorbell ring. Knowing it's Colin, she rushes to open for him.

Colin is standing at the door with Evan in his arms. He kisses the top of Jennifer's head and walks in with a soft smile. "Hey," he says softly.

"Hello there," she smiles back. She turns to Evan and her voice turns sweeter as she says, "Hi, Evan. Nice seeing you here." She closes the door and follows as Colin makes his way to the couch. "Everything alright, Colin?" she asks him as she goes over and sits next to him.

He nods. "Yes. But I have to tell you something. Don't worry, though. Promise me that?" he asks, then sighs. He'd decided he had to tell her, it would feel wrong otherwise.

She turns to face him. "Tell me what?" she says cautiously. What could have possibly gone wrong?

He takes a deep breath. "Helen's pregnant..." his voice is soft and barely audible, "She's about two or three months into the pregnancy. But we figured everything out. I talked to her, made sure that she didn't need anything. I told her if she needed any help to come to me. But she's okay to have this baby. I just… I needed to tell you, but I don't want you to feel bad about this."

As she hears this, slowly her face turns more serious. Her eyes tear up but she doesn't cry. "Helen's pregnant?" She mutters, not having heard anything he said after that. She doesn't even know how she should feel or what she should think. Her tears cloud her vision, perhaps the feeling is her hope ending. "Colin, I can't do this to you, to her!" She puts her face in her hands. Her tears finally fall.

**Hey, again! I'm so impatient for the next few chapters! I can't wait for you all to see the story develop! But hey, Helen's pregnant... what did you think of this chapter?**


	7. Chapter 7

Colin puts Evan on the carpet with some toys to play and wraps his arms around Jennifer, pulling her close. "Hey," he whispers, "everything's alright. Helen's fine. I told her if she needs any help or support whether is financially, emotionally or anything that I'll help. She's okay with raising this baby. I felt horrible but we worked through it together and it's fine now." When Jennifer doesn't stop crying, his heart breaks. "Don't cry baby, please."

She looks up at him, does the exact opposite. "I'm so sorry, Colin. This isn't fair, she's gotta take care of a baby all by herself now. She may not love you, but what about your children? You and Helen worked together," these last few words cause a sob to rise, "I did ruin your marriage. And I can't fix it anymore." She buries her head into his chest.

He holds her close. "Don't blame yourself, Jen. You didn't ruin our marriage. It was already over. It's just that neither of us wanted to hurt the other person. I worked things out. It's all okay. Don't apologize. Please don't blame yourself."

"If it hadn't been for me, your kids would have been raised by their parents, even if you don't love each other," she keeps crying, her voice is almost angry, "Don't tell me that's okay."

"It not your fault, baby, we don't love each other. I don't want my children to live in a house where their parents don't love each other. This divorce was a good thing for both of us. We don't hate each other. I still get to see my kids. Helen and I are still friends. This isn't your fault at all," he says softly, holding her close to him. "I promise."

"Colin, this doesn't feel right," she looks back up to his desperate face. "I do want to be with you, but..." she sighs, giving up and hugging him to her, "it's gonna be hard."

He hugs her, holding her close and wiping her tears. "It's going to be okay," he whispers, kissing her forehead.

"Just stay with me," her voice breaks, and she reaches up to kiss him.

"Always," he whispers against her lips before kissing her.

Jennifer kisses him slowly and her tears slow down. Should she tell him that she loved him? She's pretty sure she did. She just didn't know if she was ready to say it out loud. Colin was also about to say something but then Evan started to cry. He pulls away slowly and goes over to Evan and picks him up.

Jennifer lays there on the couch, waiting for him to come back and hold her. She watches the way he picks up Evan, carefully but with practice. Her worry lessens. They could be okay, she guessed. Her tears have slowed but are still coming. "I'll go upstairs, stay here and play with him," she says softly and gets up.

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking over at her, "you don't have to leave."

"I know," she answers, but heads to her room. "I just want-" she shakes her head. "I'll be over there if you need me." But he wouldn't come, or maybe he would, she wanted him to.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly, as she's walking away.

"A lot," she says and goes up the stairs and into her room, closing the door, but not locking it. She wanted to be with him, but she also needed to think.

Colin sighs and decides to stay downstairs and read to Evan.

Once in her room, Jennifer lies in bed and cries a little more. She's not sure if it's because of Helen being pregnant, the entire situation, or what. She just needs to cry. Ava comes to her. Jen hugs her close, needing someone to hold on.

After Colin finishes reading to Evan, he takes him in his arms and goes to Jennifer's room. Stopping at the closed door, he asks quietly, "You okay in there?"

Her tears had subsided at this point. "Yeah," she responds, her voice is soft, but he can hear her.

"Do you want me to come in?" he asks softly, leaning against the door. When she doesn't respond, he opens the door slowly, with Evan in his arms.

Jennifer doesn't look to him. But she's aware that he's coming in. She also doesn't say anything, either. Colin sits on the bed next to her, but doesn't say anything. She's going to wait until he does or says something, though. Evan makes a little baby sound, and she shuts her eyes tighter in response. "Want to talk about what's bothering you?" Colin asks finally.

"No," she whispers but turns around to face him. Trying to distract herself, she asks, "How has he been?" while looking at Evan.

"He's been good," Colin responds softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," Jennifer lies easily. She sits up and takes Evan from Colin, wanting the conversation to move on. "Hello," she takes his little hand.

Evan looks at her and giggles. "You're not telling the truth." Colin says softly.

"I know," she shrugs. "I think Evan likes me," she says and places a smile on her face, while holding Evan on her lap.

He smiles slightly. But something was hurting Jen, and that hurt him. He looks at the time. "I gotta take him back home soon."

"Okay," she nods. "Why did you bring him? Did Helen need to do something about...?" she hesitates.

"I haven't seen him in a while. And I'm sure she did," he says softly.

"Oh, that's true. I've kept you kinda busy here," she looks back down at Evan, "Maybe he should come more then?" Evan's holding on to her index finger. "See? He likes me," she smiles.

Colin smiles a little wider, and then kisses her cheek. "I think he does."

She looks up at him, but takes his hand. "We'll be okay, then?" she asks, worry crosses her face again.

"Of course we will," he smiles, pecking her lips softly. "We'll be okay."

"Thank you," she whispers against his lips. Once again, she felt the impulse to say she loved him, yet she stopped herself in fear.

He pulls away softly, picking Evan up. "I'll be back shortly, okay?"

"Oh," she pulls back and hands Evan to him. "I'll be here," she shrugs. Colin gathers Evan's things and leaves soon. Jennifer stays back with Ava watching TV again. Colin doesn't take long. Soon enough, she hears the doorbell ring and goes to open for him.

The moment he gets in, he wraps his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "You look like you need a hug," he whispers.

Jennifer hugs him back, glad to be in his arms again, "I missed you..."

Colin kisses the top of her head, shutting the door with his foot. "I missed you too," he whispers back.

"What took you so long?" she asks. "You were gone the minute you left my arms. It was terrible," she whispers in his ear

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I wasn't sure if you wanted space or not. I didn't want to push you," he explains. "But I'm here now."

"I always want to be with you," she says and looks at him, into his eyes, then kisses him softly.

He smiles against her lips before kissing her back gently. They kiss for a few more moments, there in the hall by the door, impatient to get anywhere else, only wanting to be together. She feels a weight taken off her when he kisses her like this. It's like all her doubts and fears are gone for a while.

They hadn't told anyone of course, and Jennifer was scared to do so, anyway. She wished she could be with him in public like a regular couple would. But considering he was just now divorcing, she could be seen as the issue, the one who caused it to the public eye. And that would be bad for her career, and the show.

"Still don't want to talk about it?" he asks softly. He understood is she didn't, but he wanted to help.

"I don't know, seeing you with Evan..." she sighs, "I'm ridiculous, he's your son, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. I get it. It's weird to see me with him when I'm not with his mother," he nods.

"I guess so," she says. "It's gonna take me a while to get used to it if he'll be visiting often."

"That's quite alright. It's going to take a bit for all of us to get used to all these new changes."

"Does Helen know you brought him here with me? She's okay with that?" She adds

"No, she doesn't know actually. I don't think she would mind. I don't always have to end back here with him though."

"If it's for me, you don't have to stay away. I don't mind spending time with him," she had actually enjoyed the little time she'd held him. "I just want to make sure Helen is okay with that."

He smiled. "I'll ask next time. Now, how about I make some dinner?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Alright," she smiles, "what are you making?"

"What would you like?" He asks.

"Surprise me!" She says her happiness slowly coming back. She pecks his lips and does a little skip, turning around and walking to the couch. He smiles noticing her radiate again, then goes into the kitchen to prepare dinner."

And she can admit to herself that she does love him. But she's always been a little guarded in her feelings. She believes there is true love, a single love for her. And she always thought she'd be sure when that love came along, though it came in the most unexpected of ways. After years of working with Colin, she realizes that her feelings had only been suppressed, always present. She loved him, and she knew it for sure

Colin starts to cook, and his thoughts drift to Jen. He wants her to know that he loves her. He wants her to know how special and amazing she is. But he wasn't sure that he could say it yet. He was afraid it would scare her off, be too soon. He just needed the right moment.

Soon, she leaves the couch and goes to the kitchen, to see what he's making. She leans with her back against the counter, and just looks at him.

He puts the food in the oven and turns to her. "Hey," he smiles.

"Hi again," she gives him a slight smile. "It's nice of you to cook dinner."

He smiles a little. "It's the least I can do

"For what? You don't owe me anything."

"For everything, including letting me stay with you."

"I'm not letting you stay with me," she teases, "I'm making you." She laughs.

He chuckles. "Oh? Making me?"

"Oh yeah," she nods, "I want you here, so you stay. You have no choice."

"That's quite alright with me," he laughs.

"Then you see? I'm making you stay here." she smiles while biting her lower lip

"You know, I'm trying very hard not to kiss you right now and you aren't making it easy," he smirks.

"And why are you trying to not kiss me?" she asks with a flirty voice, "We're alone."

"Because if I do," he pauses and takes a step forward, "dinner might burn. I wouldn't be able to stop."

"Then we can save it for dessert?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Dessert it is."

She giggles, "I'm so glad this all worked out. It would have been torture to not be able to be with you."

"I feel the same," he smiles, "I just can't wait until we don't have to hide it."

"And when will that be?" she asks with concern, "after the divorce is complete, or maybe a few weeks after?"

"Maybe three weeks after?"

"Okay," she nods. "And what will they think when they know Helen's pregnant?" she says a little softer.

"I-I'm not sure..."

She sighs, "See? This is why I'm worried. You saw how Twitter blew up the other night. If they see I'm with you, but Helen's pregnant, I can't imagine what will happen." She looks down.

"We'll figure it out... Somehow..." He looks down before looking up. "I know it's easier said than done, but try not to dwell on it."

"I guess so," she shrugs. "The food," she reminds him.

"Right, almost forgot." He goes over to the oven.

They have dinner together. Desert is well enjoyed by both of them. Throughout the next few weeks, they still live together. Ginny had already asked if there was anything going on. Of course, they had both denied it. Ginny was still suspicious, and so was half of the cast, but they could not afford to assume anything. Both Colin and Jennifer tried their best to not let it show. But, as the weeks passed and their affection for one another grew, it was harder. Within the first couple weeks, the divorce process for Helen and Colin had terminated.

Yet, Colin and Jennifer had not told anyone yet. No one knew about Helen being pregnant, but that couldn't remain a secret for much longer. And Jennifer had gotten tired of pretending, she thought enough time had passed, and that it would be safe to tell. Colin was unsure, afraid for Jennifer's safety. But it was hard for him as well, so they decided they would tell at least Ginny and Josh.

* * *

><p><strong>So, that was mostly fluff, but there are key details that you'll notice come up later. Don't forget to review, it helps a lot to know your thoughts. I hope you're all liking it! :)<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

It was finally the day they were going to tell Ginny and Josh. Colin was nervous, but it all went away when he saw Jennifer. She was in the kitchen making breakfast. He smiles and quietly walks to her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and kissing her cheek. "Morning beautiful," he rests his chin on her shoulder.

Jennifer blushes and smiles as soon as she hears his voice. She spins around in his arms. "Good morning," she says back and pecks his lips softly.

He smiles against her lips, arms still around her waist. "How are you?"

"Nervous," she responds, biting her lower lip. "I wonder what they'll say..."

"I'm quite nervous as well," he admits. "Hopefully they don't think is bad."

"I really hope not," she looks down, then turns around in his arms and finishes with breakfast. They eat breakfast quickly, knowing they have to be at work soon. They leave Jen's house not too long after and he drives to set.

This time they are able to stop by at Starbucks without getting stuck in traffic.

Once they arrive, they quickly find Ginny and Josh at Ginny's trailer. Jen feels like her and Colin are recreating a scene from the show. Colin knocks.

Jen smiles at Ginny when she opens and invites them in. She gets in with Colin behind her. Her face is a mix of nervous and serious as she sits on the couch

Colin is able to hide his nervousness, but Ginny can see it in Jennifer's face. Colin joins Jen on the couch. They sit shoulder to shoulder. Ginny looks from Jennifer to Colin then back to Jen. "What's wrong?" she asks concerned.

Their nervousness increases once Ginny asks this. "It's really…" Jennifer starts, "just want to tell you something." She looks at Colin.

Colin looks at her as if asking if she wants him to tell. Jen just nods. The way they're looking at each other tells Ginny there's something going on. Josh is quiet.

Colin takes a deep breath, and glances at Jen before replying quickly, his words slurring together, "Jen and I are dating."

Jen looks to Ginny for any sort of response, Josh still doesn't say anything. "We are," she confirms.

After a moment more, "Oh," is all Ginny says, taking a seat

Colin looks at Jennifer nervously. She takes his hand. "Say something," she says to Ginny and Josh, then looks back worriedly at Colin.

Ginny asks, "For how long have you guys been together?" Since she notices how comfortable they are with each other, she assumes it hasn't started recently.

"A while…" Colin says, squeezing Jen's hand a little.

"A couple months," she clarifies. Ginny's face shows her surprise. Josh says, "Why are you only telling us this now?"

"We wanted to make sure that everything was sorted out."

"Oh gosh," Ginny puts her face in her hands briefly and then looks back up. "Is that why you and Helen divorced?" she asks Colin. Jen bites her lip and looks down. This was exactly why she had been worried.

"No. No it's not. Helen and I… We just had a falling out. Jen was not the cause of it. That's why we don't want to tell."

Jen speaks up, "Helen and Colin don't love each other, really. That happened before we did. I know this is gonna be a problem, but we've been hiding it for so long and I'm tired."

"Helen and I were very young and," he sighs, "things just didn't work out the way we wanted them to. But it wasn't a bad divorce, we're still close friends."

Jen looks to Colin, her face asking if they should say anything about Helen's pregnancy. This topic was still very sensible to Jen.

He bites his lip, not sure. Ginny and Josh would either help, or be confused as to why Helen was pregnant. Maybe they shouldn't say anything. He shakes his head ever so slightly.

Jennifer turns back to Ginny, "And we don't want to hide it anymore, what do you think of us telling people?" she asks, hoping they could give some advice.

"Telling people…? Oh, um…" Ginny doesn't know what to say.

"I'm not sure now is the right time. I mean, we thought that the reason for the divorce was... well you know. Imagine what the public eye would think," Josh says.

Jennifer looks down, "It's just so frustrating that we have to act indifferent. I can't touch him without people freaking out. I want it to end."

"Then maybe have Colin clarify?"

"I guess we could. But should we tell the rest of the cast and crew at least?"

Ginny nods. "Yes," she smiles a little.

Jen smiles once Ginny does, relaxing. "Thank you," she says, "I'm glad you guys are here." She gets up and Josh and gives her a small smile, and then Ginny gives her a hug.

"I'm happy for you," she whispers.

"Thank you, I know this is right. I think he's, uh... It? Maybe. Most likely..." She manages to whisper back. Ginny nods, knowing Jennifer doesn't just open up like this, and taking note of her words. Then they break the hug. "I'll see you later then?" She says to them both and looks back at Colin.

Then both nod. Colin joins Jen at her side as smiles at Josh and Ginny. "Thank you, again."

Ginny looks at how very close Jen and Colin are standing. They are comfortable with each other, but she does worry for what the public will think. They bid goodbye and head to Jen's trailer. They decide to tell everyone when they gather for lunch.

* * *

><p>After their morning together, they head down to film for a few hours. They're shooting a scene with most of the main cast. Over the last couple months they'd worked through nearly the entire half of this season. There were only a couple weeks before they finished. So, the first person they tell is Adam. They go up to him before they begin filming.<p>

Once Adam's free, Colin speaks up. "Adam? Can we talk to you?" He asks, biting his lip. Telling Adam doesn't go well at first, he's worried about what it could do to the show, of course he is. But he can't stop them, so he only advises them to not say anything publicly until filming for this half season is over.

They finish talking to Adam and then make their way over to Eddy. Eddy feels the same way as Adam, but he's happy for them.

They do tell everyone at lunch. Lana teases them. So does Georgina. Jen had only told Rose and her parents, outside of everyone here. And Rose had basically been jumping up and down in happiness for her. Overall, telling everyone doesn't go as bad as they had feared. But they still don't know what to do about Helen being pregnant.

Colin is pretty satisfied with the way the afternoon goes, but he's still afraid of how people's thoughts will change when they know Helen is pregnant.

They head home together as always. Throughout the past weeks, while Jen watched Colin with Evan, she had realized she might want to have a family one day. Before Colin, she never thought that sort of thing was for her, she was afraid. She'd gotten pretty good at taking care of Evan, and Colin had observed how she was with him. It was like a different part of her showed. One that he loved seeing.

* * *

><p>One night after Colin takes Evan back to Helen's house, he comes home to find Jen asleep on the couch. He smiles and kisses her forehead before sitting with her, placing her head on his lap and playing with her blonde curls.<p>

She wakes slowly to him caressing her. Her eyes open to his, "Hello there," she says softly.

He smiles and kisses her lips softly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, just really tired from work," she smiles slightly, "and playing with Evan for the afternoon," her smile widens.

Her smile makes him happy. "He really likes you, you know. If you weren't acting I'd bet you'd be taking care of children left, right, and center. You enjoy it a lot, don't you?"

"Oh you really think so?" she blushes. "I do enjoy it," she looks away from his eyes and whispers ever so slightly, "good you noticed..."

But he hears her. "Is that what you want?" he asks curiously but with a wide smile, because that's exactly what he wants as well.

Jennifer turns around and buries her head into the couch, nervous and blushing. She doesn't say anything, but smiles to herself because of the tone in his voice.

He sets his hand on her knee. "Hey, don't be nervous," he whispers, touching her shoulder to tell her to stop hiding her face from him.

She looks back up to him slowly, "Yes," she whispers. Then she sits and hugs him, now burying her head into his chest.

He holds her close to him, kissing the top of her head. "You know, that's something we could have," his voice remains low.

"Do you want to?" she bites her lip in nervousness. But she's trying to calm all her feelings down. Having a child with him is such an overwhelmingly great idea. Just the thought of being happy with a baby and Colin makes her so excited.

He blushes a little and nods. "Do you?" he asks. Starting a family with her would be amazing. They'd be so happy together.

"Maybe," she says softly. "I do... If you want to," she looks up and into his eyes.

"Oh, I do," he says firmly.

She searches his eyes for reassurance, "Really?" she whispers.

"Really," he whispers back, not breaking eye contact with her.

She reaches up to kiss him. "Could we really do it, though?"

"Yes," he says against her lips before kissing her again.

Her eyes tear up, "I can't imagine it at all," she says when they pull apart. She puts her hand to her stomach, "can you?"

"No?" he asks, and places his hand right on top of hers. "It's about what makes you happy," he adds.

"I would like it though," she assures, looking down at both their hands on her flat stomach. The sight makes a tear of happiness fall from her right eye. "Just can't see it yet, but I guess I will soon."

He smiles slightly and nods, "hungry?"

"Not really," she shrugs, "but are you?"

"I just ate, so no."

"Okay," she nods, "what do you wanna do? Watch Netflix?" She gives him a flirty smile.

"I'd love to," he grins, scooting closer to her.

"Upstairs?" she stands and takes his hand urging him to come with her.

He chuckles and gets up, following her.

She leads him to her bedroom by his hand. Once she gets to her room, she hops in bed, "Come on," she pats the bed next to her.

He sits on the bed next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

She cuddles into him, hugging him close. "So we're going to have a child?" she says after a moment of silence.

"Yeah, one day," he whispers, kissing her forehead.

She nods and turns on her side so her body is facing his. She kisses his cheek then rests her head on his chest, closing her eyes again.

He smiles and plays with her hair, turning the TV on for them.

She doesn't turn to watch it, she just lays there happily in his arms, soon enough, falling back asleep.

Colin soon turns it off after she falls asleep, holding her and smiling. There was no doubt about it. She was the one.

Jennifer sleeps in his arms. This is a usual thing for them. But today, it feels different. They love each other, and have a life planned together. And they both want a family, and that's enough to be happy. Jen sleeps for a while in his arms. He watches and caresses her, and she smiles sweetly in her sleep. Later, he falls asleep as well, and she subconsciously hugs him tightly to her al night while they sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, sorry this chapter took longer for me to update on, I've been quite busy with school. I always try to update as soon as my schedule allows me. But anyway, what were your thoughts on this chapter, and where do you think this story's going?<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm gonna say this here: You've been warned. It's a long chapter, and a lot happens. Don't kill me. But if you want to reach me, my Twitter is Long_Live_JMo. Now, enjoy!**

* * *

><p>It's been about three months since the cast found out about Jennifer and Colin, a month or more since they found out that Helen was pregnant. Now it was time to tell the public that Jen and Colin were dating. They were impatient to not hide their feelings anymore. But since they had an interview together today, they had decided to do it then.<p>

Now, they're backstage together. Jennifer's very nervous, she knows this can't go completely well, she paces back and forth.

Colin notices how nervous she is and walks over to her. "You okay?" he's extremely nervous as well, but he can't show that.

"I don't know," she says, still pacing. Then she stops in front of him to ask, "What will they do?"

He sighs, "In all honesty, I have no idea."

She gives him a worried look and hugs him for her own comfort, and his. "I hope it all works out in the end and nothing stops us from having the life we want," she says softly into his ear. They had already begun to try, on purpose or not, to make a family happen. It had only been a few times, so nothing had happened yet

He nods and hugs her back. "Don't stress about it. It'll all work out one way or another," he whispers in her ear. "You're mine."

She sighs and blushes before kissing his cheek.

Someone comes to call them, and they break their embrace. They start following, headed onstage. As they are told to enter, Jennifer takes hold of Colin's hand. They'd go into this together.

He squeezes her had slightly and they start walking, the crowd cheers as they head towards their seats.

The interviewer raises an eyebrow, "Is there something we should know?" They've sat down, and their hands are still intertwined. Jen looks over at Colin. "Um..." she blushes, "can you guess?" She can't show her nervousness in public.

"Are you two...together?" the interviewer asks with a smile.

Jen nods. Colin says, "Yes," with a smile, as well.

"We wanted to let you all know before there are rumors or anything like that," Jennifer continues.

The interviewer nods. "That's great! How long has it been?"

Jen looks to Colin for an answer. A few weeks should be safe, she thinks.

"Just a few weeks," Colin responds politely.

Jennifer looks back at the interviewer and smiles confidently. "You seem happy," the interviewer says.

"I am," Jen responds. "We are."

"We are," he echoes, "Very happy."

The crowd cheers and starts to chant for them to kiss.

Jennifer looks out at the crowd in surprise, and blushes. The interviewer smiles encouragingly. "I..." Jen looks back to Colin and bites her lip. He nods. She leans in and kisses his lips softly, quickly.

He kisses her back just the same. The whole audience is in an uproar. There are claps and shouts from all over the place.

She pulls back and looks down blushing, her eyes closing for a moment. The crowd is cheering like this is the first time they've ever kissed. And it is, to the public eyes, as Jen and Colin and not Hook and Emma. Jen puts her forehead on his shoulder briefly, while the crowd is still going wild.

Colin smiles and kisses her forehead, making the crowd go even crazier. She blushes deeper. They wait for a moment while the crowd and the interviewer calm down. Then the interviewer says, "Seems like more than a few weeks to me! Emma and Hook sure left their mark, didn't they?"

Now it's Colin's turn to blush. "Only a few weeks," he clarifies. "And what do you mean?"

"I guess Adam and Eddy are much greater match makers than they though!" she laughs, "Ginny and Josh and now you two!"

"Oh, not exactly..." Colin says. "This is new. These feelings, they're from after...Well you know."

Jen nods in agreement, though she knows it's not true. They had been in love since they met, they just didn't realize it. "Well I am so happy for you," says the interviewer. But we are running out of time and need to talk about Once Upon a Time!"

Colin chuckles. "Yes. This season is pretty intense, but it seems as we go on, the seasons get more intense."

Jen adds on, "I wonder how they come up with so many ideas!" She laughs. The interview isn't longer than fifteen minutes. So they get out of there sooner than later, only knowing the reaction of those in the audience. They hoped things wouldn't be too bad with the general public.

"That went better than I expected," Colin says with a smile, taking her hand. They're in his car now.

"Have you gotten on Twitter yet?" she asks as she pulls out her phone. The reactions are all over the place.

He shakes his head no and pulls out his phone, their joined hands separating.

"Well there's a lot of congrats, among other things," she says softly.

"Don't focus on the negative comments," he smiles a little and pecks her lips softly. "Okay?"

"I'll try," she pulls him back to her and kisses him more; they had become oh so close to each other over the last few weeks.

He grins against her lips, tilting his head to the side a little.

She follows his lead and kisses him for a little longer, then pulls back slightly to say, "Let's go home." She gives him one quick kiss, biting his lower lip as she pulls back, her face showing her desire.

"Yes," he smiles, getting lost in her eyes for a few seconds before starting the engine.

* * *

><p>Soon they get home and Colin opens the door for Jen. He can't stop smiling. They don't have to hide it anymore.<p>

Jennifer steps in. "I like not having to hide us," she says happily. He shuts the door and she puts her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.

"As do I," he turns his head, catching her lips and wrapping his arms around her waist.

She kisses him back. "Get upstairs!" she says playfully and gets out of his arms.

He chuckles, taking her hand and leading her upstairs.

Once they get to their room, she gives him a flirty smile. "Ready captain?" she teases, almost giggling. She shuts the door and walks to him.

He chuckles, pulling her towards him by putting his hands at her waist. "The question is, are _you_ ready, princess?" he raises and eyebrow.

She blushes and bites her lip, looking at his, "I think we've been through this," she laughs and kisses him.

He kisses her back softly. "Have I ever told you how incredibly amazing you are?" he asks, pulling away softly and looking into her eyes.

"Maybe once or twice," she says, her tone light. Then she looks back into his eyes, "So are you..." she says softly.

He smiles, moving closer to her, their faces just inches away. His voice drops an octave as it goes to a whisper. "Jennifer? Have I ever told you I love you? Because I do," he pauses. "I love you."

She tenses immediately at the use of her full name and his serious tone. Then she hears the words she was so unsure of; unsure that in the end, they had different feelings towards each other. But he loves her, and she's tearing up at his words and the loving look in his eyes. It takes her a moment to recover. "And I..." she whispers, "I love you," as a tear falls from her eye, one of pure bliss.

He wipes the tear away gently with his thumb, placing his hand on the side of her cheek. He spends a few moments trying to take in the beyond beautiful and precious woman in front of him but it's such a hard task to ask. The way she makes him feel is beyond his comprehension. He brings his lips to hers gently.

She closes her eyes slowly as they both lean in, trying to savor her view of him until the last second. They kiss gently for a moment, and then still kissing him, she leads him to the bed.

He falls back onto the bed, kissing her a little harder and unbuttoning her shirt.

She giggles as she climbs on top of him. "You're too good," she takes her shirt off quickly.

He starts to unbutton his shirt. "Yeah? And why is that?"

"I love you," she whispers softly into his ear. "We've been through this..."

He smiles and her words. "I love you too, Jen." he whispers.

She smiles widely and moves to kissing his neck softly. She loved her nights with him. And every one was a chance to start a family. Nothing yet, as far as she knew. But they'd been trying for only about three months, so they had a ton of time.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Colin wakes up, his legs entangled with Jen's and his arms around her. The sheets are over them, but he still keeps his arms around her for her warmth. She's tired, but hugs him to her in her sleep. Colin smiles and kisses her forehead gently.<p>

She smiles in her sleep. Slowly coming to, she opens her eyes and smiles wider when she sees him.

"Hey, baby," he whispers.

"Hi, love," she whispers back, looking into his eyes. "How'd you sleep?"

"Quite well. You?" he asks softly.

"Always great with you," she responds. "What time is it?" She can only tell it's late afternoon.

He pulls out his phone to look at the time. "4:30."

She nods and sighs, hugging him closer.

He smiles. "You ready to get up or do you want to stay here?"

She shrugs, "I don't care much. I have nothing to do." She smiles, "Do you?"

He shakes his head, "Nope. Wouldn't rather do anything else."

"Then stay here with me," she kisses his cheek.

"Always."

They spend the afternoon together, talking and loving on each other. Early evening she says, "Take me to dinner?"

"I'd love to," he smiles, kissing her cheek.

She untangles herself from him and sits up. "Should I wear a dress?" she asks playfully

He just smiles like an idiot at her.

"I'm gonna wear a dress," she laughs and gets up with the blanket around her, headed to the shower.

He chuckles and nods, getting a sheet around himself and going to the other bathroom.

After she's done, she puts on a white dress, something loose that she knows he'd like. Then she walks back out to the bedroom and finds him, his blue button down brings out his eyes, and she can't look away.

"You're so beautiful," he looks at her with adoration.

She blushes and spins for him a little. "You look so handsome," she then says back as she approaches him and kisses his cheek softly. "Ready to go?" she whispers in his ear.

He smiles. "Ready. You?" he kisses her cheek.

"Yeah," she nods. They spend the evening out. They're seldom caught by paparazzi when they are entering the restaurant but it's no big deal. They lived in L.A. at her house for the time being. Since Colin didn't own a house there and they couldn't bear to be away from each other. She'd told him he could move in, but of course he wanted to get a home of their own, once they were married he said. The summer, with no filming, turned out to be their best one yet. Nothing happened yet with starting a family. And in truth, Jen wanted to know why. Colin had just comforted her and told her it would come when it was time, and this calmed her down for a couple of days. However, behind his back, she'd scheduled an appointment with the doctor for later this afternoon. They had to go back to Vancouver soon, so much time had passed and still nothing. As usual she wakes entangled with him that morning. He's still asleep.

Colin has been the happiest he's ever been with Jen in these past few months. He's still asleep, his lips on the top of her head and his arms around hers. They were still trying for a baby, and still nothing. He was concerned about that, but he wouldn't let it show. He couldn't.

She moves a little so she can caress his hair. She watches his chest rise and fall, and smiles at having him in her arms.

He slowly starts to wake up, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. When he sees her, he smiles. "Morning, beautiful."

"Hi, baby," she gives him a loving smile. "Evan's coming today right?'

"Yeah, he is." Colin smiles and kisses her cheek.

"I need to go out, though," she says and looks away from his eyes.

"Okay," he nods, not thinking anything of it. "I'll just take him to the park or something."

"I won't take too long," her voice is low

"You okay?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," she nods and looks back up to him. "I'm perfectly fine baby," she says kissing his cheek.

He nods, pecking her lips softly. "Call me if you need anything."

"Will do," she gets up and goes to shower. She should have told him, but if it was nothing, she didn't want to worry him.

He goes to have a shower and gets dressed. Something was going on with Jen, and he knew. But he didn't want to push it.

After she gets dressed, she comes out to see him sitting on the bed. In a rush, as it's getting late, she walks past, gathering her things and putting on her shoes. Colin just watches.

"You sure you're okay?" He asks.

"I'm okay babe, just gotta go and I'm running late," she shrugs. Then, she stops by where he's sitting and gives him a soft long kiss. "I love you, see you in a few." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"I love you too." He kisses her cheek. When she leaves he gets up and sighs. There's something going on.

She heads out soon. She had thought about asking Ginny to come with, but also didn't want her to worry. When she gets to the doctor's, it doesn't take long at all for someone to attend her. She's nervous, and that made it worse.

Meanwhile, Colin makes his way to Helen's house to get Evan. He packed a little picnic so that they could eat lunch at the park. He was worried about Jen. She's seemed stressed.

Not delaying, the doctors take the necessary tests for what Jennifer wants to know. And soon, she's waiting for her results, worried as ever. Worried that things could go wrong and her dreams would be crushed.

After a while, the doctor comes into the waiting room. "Miss Morrison? Your test results are in."

She gets up to follow him, her hands shaking. They walk to a consultation room and he asks her to take a seat, she does, and waits as he looks through the files.

He pulls out a few papers with the test results. "How long did you say you've been trying?" He asks her

She frowns, "For nearly five months but I don't see why nothing's happened." She bites the inside of her lip

He sits down quietly and sighs. "Miss Morrison, I am very sorry to tell you this," he pauses. "But you are unable to conceive."

She watches as he sits and his face becomes a little sad, her nervousness increases to downright fear. And when he speaks, his tone is almost mournful. He finishes his sentence and she doesn't know if that's what he really said, or if she's just paranoid. So she doesn't react, she stares at the wall behind the doctor, in shock.

"I'm very sorry," he says apologetically. "I wish there was something I could do." He goes to explain what the problem was, but she can't bring herself to listen to a word he's saying. Her eyes have not left that wall, but they're filling up with tears.

* * *

><p>Colin's little play date with Evan was cut short when Evan got tired and wanted to go home and sleep with mommy. So Colin was at home with his guitar, trying to write some music when he hears Jennifer opening the door.<p>

Jen had barely been able to drive home, but while in shock still, she makes it. It hasn't sunk in yet. She walks through the door, puts her purse down, and just keeps walking up to her room, not even thinking to wonder where Colin is

But since he had heard her, and she hadn't come looking for him, he gets up and walks towards the entrance, "Jen?"

She barely hears him, she's nearly upstairs to her room already. She can feel her eyes water, but her mind cannot form a coherent thought.

He catches a glimpse of her blonde hair and goes up the stairs. "Jen?" he repeats. He's concerned now. She's _never_ like this.

She's on her bed, lying on her side, looking straight forward when he comes into the room. Her trance breaks when he calls out her name once more.

"What's wrong?" he whispers.

Her eyes move to him and they're full of yet to be spilled tears. She doesn't say anything, not trusting she can deliver the news without crashing.

He gently sits her up, pulling him to her. "What is it, baby?" he asks quietly.

A small sob escapes her when he calls her 'baby' she hugs back and closes her eyes, the tears being to fall as she closes her eyes. She couldn't tell him. He would be devastated.

He holds her close, kissing her forehead. He doesn't say anything, just holds her. He trusts she'll tell him when she's ready.

She holds him there for a long moment and her tears and sobs only increase. But he had to know, she couldn't let him hope in vain. Oh, but she didn't want him to hurt like she did.

He wipes away the tears, kissing where they fall. "Hey, whatever it is we'll work through it together. I promise," his voice is low.

She shakes her head slightly. "Colin..." she breaths softly.

"What is it?" he rubs her arm.

She touches her stomach lightly and shakes her head. Hoping he'd understand and she wouldn't have to explain.

It takes him a minute or two. "No. T-there has to be a mistake," he chokes on his own words, unable to believe it.

She shakes her head again and sobs a little louder. And there was no mistake, she'd been sure to go to a great doctor. "I can't..." her voice is a whisper but it still brakes.

Colin is trying to stay strong. He really is, but how is he supposed to do that? He lets silent tears spill down his cheeks as he hold Jen close, both of them shaking. "It's okay. Maybe there was a mistake. We can try again," he whispers, barley getting the words out.

"I don't want to," she whispers, she didn't want to get her hopes up to have them crushed like this ever again. "It's not okay," she cries not so softly into his chest, her pain only increasing.

He knows the reality. He knows that it's not okay right now, and it won't be okay for a while. So he says nothing. He just holds her tight to him, squeezing her hand and crying silently with her.

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, I'm so sorry. What did you think? Review and let me know!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

They end up lying down clutching each other, at some point, Jen sobbing into his chest, and Colin crying silently. She hugs him to her and there is nothing that can stop the pain coming off of both of them. They can only try to comfort each other, but they're both in too much pain to be much help.

Eventually, Colin calms himself down enough so that he can comfort her. He kisses her softly, tasting the salty tears on her lips. "We'll get through this," he whispers and wraps his arms around her, stroking her forehead softly. "Sleep baby. It'll help a bit," he whispers.

She's still crying, but her sobs have died down though her tears still flow. "I love you," she breaths and kisses his lips, "I'm so sorry."

He wipes her tears, kissing back softly. "I love you so much. You don't need to apologize."

"I can't give you a baby... We wanted a baby," she's almost complaining. "The only thing I wished to have, and I'm unable to!" she says angrily but crying louder.

"Shush, don't apologize. It's not your fault," he whispers, kissing the top of her head and rocking them back and forth ever so slightly.

She looks up at him, kisses his lips softly, and then puts her head back on his chest. She closes her eyes and tries to do as he said, sleep.

He begins playing with her hair. She always falls asleep faster when he does that.

Slowly, almost an hour later, she is willing to find sleep as the last tears she has left leave her. Colin comforts her throughout, and though things aren't okay, in his arms, she felt whole. She belonged there.

It takes him a while, the thoughts in his head are too loud, but eventually, Colin drifts to sleep.

* * *

><p>Having drained herself crying all afternoon, Jennifer doesn't wake until late evening. And when she does, she wakes in his arms. Her eyes are irritated from all the crying, and as she remembers why, the tears threaten to come back.<p>

Colin wakes up a few minutes later, only to see her on the brink of tears. Before she can do anything, he presses a soft kiss on her lips. "Don't cry, love," he whispers. And he knows it's a lot to ask.

She kisses back, and that distracts her enough to halt her tears while they kiss. So she doesn't break it at first, so she won't cry.

Colin continues to kiss her softly, pulling her closer to comfort her as she arches her back into him, just kissing him softly and distracting herself and he rubs her back.

"Colin...?" she whispers against his lips, breaks the kiss and shakes her head slightly, then puts her forehead on his chest while hugging him.

"Yes?" he whispers.

She just shakes her head some more. But, after a moment of thinking, she whispers, "Isn't Helen having the baby sometime in the next two months?" This would have made her cry her eyes out, but she was so tired and didn't know if she had anymore tears left.

"Yes," he whispers, his voice breaking.

In the little time she had been able to think clearly, she'd thought and feared that Colin would go back to Helen. She was carrying his baby anyway, something she was unable to do. "Oh..." is all she can say.

He quickly picks up on her thoughts, just from the tone in her voice. "Jennifer, that would never happen," he says softly.

She nods her head, but doesn't trust on that. Colin will be seeing this baby and that would hurt so much. She wouldn't blame him if he'd rather be with the mother of his two kids. The woman who can give him even more children than she ever could.

"I promise," he whispers. "I'd never leave you. I love you far too much for that. There are other ways we can have a child. I promise you that I will never leave you, no matter the circumstances."

"Other ways to have a child?" she sighs. "That includes me and you taking care of your new baby," she says, her voice a mixture of anger and hurt.

He furrows his brows at her. "No. That's not what I meant at all. I meant, if we've tried everything possible, and still nothing happens... adoption is always an option."

She looks down. Not that she wasn't open to adopting, but she still wanted, or course she did, a child that was hers and Colin's. One that she would watch grow inside her and the fascination of being a parent would grow with the baby. And she'd never really wanted children, but now that she's with Colin, the thought of having his baby had brought new desires in her. She doesn't say anything, not sure how to respond.

"I mean, we don't have too. I get that it is different than having our own child. I just wanted to clear that last thing up."

"We can't have our own child," she says angrily, but angry at the situation. She gets up quickly and leaves the room before Colin has time to react.

"Jennifer!" he calls, getting up and going after her.

She rushes downstairs as her tears threaten to spill again. She couldn't have a baby. She'd voiced it out loud, and that made it all worse. It's like a new level, a different level, of pain. She cannot do the single thing all women can do. Have children. Something went wrong within her, and she had gone through life thinking that she was alright. Letting her hopes climb up so high. And Colin couldn't fix the fact that she felt she'd failed, when for so many other women, having a child was something taken for granted.

Colin follows her quickly. He wants her to know that this wasn't her fault. He still loved her just as much. This changed nothing when it came to their relationship. She wasn't useless. She was still incredibly perfect.

Jen goes to lie on the couch, and buries her head into the backside of it so Colin knows she doesn't want to talk.

He sighs and sits down on the couch across from her, not saying anything.

She's facing away from him. But her tears are running again, just quietly but steady this time.

Colin holds back and doesn't touch her, or say anything. Then he feels bad, so he goes to her side and sits on the floor, rubbing her back and kissing her forehead. She turns away a little more, not sure if she wants his comfort. But she knows he means well and that he's doing all he can in this situation. Yet, she doesn't turn to him. So he sighs and slowly stops, moving his hand away from her.

Jennifer just lays there crying for a while, not sure she can do anything else.

Eventually, he tries to comfort her again. He sits on the couch, pulling her into his lap, letting her cry into his neck. "Shh, go ahead. Let it all out," he whispers.

She lets him take her in his arms without a fight. After a moment, she wraps her arms around him. Still crying, she comforts herself into him as he whispers encouragements into her hair and kisses the top of her head.

She looks up, between her tears, and whispers, "Just hold me..." And then looks back down.

He pulls her a little closer and he can feel the warmth radiating from their bodies. He's trying to help her stop crying. He wipes her tears away with his free hand.

It takes a while again, but she does calm down and her tears slow. She's got to stop crying about it, it doesn't change that she can't have children.

It's getting late, and Colin thinks he should make dinner but is afraid to let go of Jen, she is more important.

As her tears finally come to a stop, she just lays there in his arms. Her eyes closed, she tries not to think about it. And it works enough that she doesn't cry again.

He holds her close, his chin resting on the top of her head. "Hungry?" he asks quietly.

She shakes her head slightly, "Not really," she hasn't eaten yet today, and she should. But, she didn't have any appetite at all.

"Maybe I could make you something and you can try to eat? I know you don't want to, but…"

"I guess so," she shrugs. "Thank you." She kisses his cheek, he means the best.

"No need. I love you very much. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," she smiles slightly. "I love you, too."

He hugs her one more time and after a bit slowly lets go and goes to the kitchen. He makes dinner pretty quickly. He feels horrible. The fact that he can't do anything more to help her feel better kills him inside. He felt just as horrible as she did, but he couldn't let her know that.

Jennifer doesn't move. When he's done, and she can smell the food, she thinks of going to sit and try to eat but she's got no energy to.

He finishes up and brings the food to her, setting it on the coffee table.

She sits up weakly, looks at the food, but has no intention of eating it. "Thank you, baby," she says as he sets it down, looking up at him.

"You're welcome." He kisses her cheek. "Do you want me to stay with you, or would you like to be alone?"

She shakes her head and reaches for his hand. No, she doesn't want to be alone.

He takes her hand and sits down beside her, squeezing it gently.

She turns to him and hugs him to her. While he was making dinner, she'd thought about the fact that Colin is suffering too, and all she's doing is making it worse. She lies back a little and hugs his head to her chest. "Babe, don't think I'm pushing you away. You know I love you. Yes, I want you to be with me."

He stays in her arms, listening to her heartbeat. The sound is like music to his ears. "I love you too. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happier. It's been a rough day and the outcome is not a very happy one. We just need to take a deep breath and figure things out," he whispers.

"Yeah," she whispers back. "I know you wanted a baby too, and I know you don't want me to apologize but I'm sorry it's just not possible..." she sighs, "I truly am."

"I don't want you to apologize because it's not your fault." he smiles a little. "This is beyond our control and it's not the best situation at all but maybe there's a reason for it."

"There's a reason why I can't have a baby...?" She says sadly, her voice dropping. Then she reminds herself not to make him feel bad, "Colin, I know it's not my fault. I'm still sorry it can't happen."

He sighs at her first comment. "I don't know, maybe something good will come out of it. I know it seems unlikely but…" he pauses, unsure how to phrase it. "Eat a little?" he asks softly.

She sighs, looks at the food, then shrugs and sits up. Then she starts to eat, but not before giving him a soft kiss.

Jen really doesn't eat very much. When she gives up, she lies down on the couch and places her head on Colin's lap.

He kisses her lips softly and starts to play with her hair, wanting her to sleep.

She relaxes to him caressing her, and closes her eyes. She's nearly falling asleep when she whispers up to him, "I should go upstairs and sleep there..."

"I can take you up later if you'd like," he says softly with a slight smile.

"Hmm, I'd like that," she smiles warmly at the thought of her real life prince carrying her to their bed.

Colin just looks at her little smile and smiles in response. "Sleep, my love," he whispers before kissing her lips softly.

She kisses back, and bites his lower lip with the little energy she has left. "I love you..." She whispers very softly and falls asleep.

"I love you," he whispers back. After a few minutes, he gets up and carries her up the stairs. He dresses her more comfortably then pulls the comforter over her and kisses her forehead.

She moves in her sleep, looking for him though he's not next to her, yet.

After Colin gets ready for bed, he slides into the bed next to her, gently pulling her towards him.

Jen feels when he's embraced her and in her sleep holds him to her as well. She hums a little and buries her face into his neck.

He rubs the side of her arm lightly. "I love you," he whispers one more time in her ear.

* * *

><p><strong>I just love how they can't stop saying 'I love you' to each other! It's like they just learned those words! But, what did you think? Please review! You don't know how much I love those! Xx<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

Time had passed slowly since then, nights were usually spent crying. Some nights, it had become unbearable for her, and Colin could only do so much. Helen's due date was very soon, and this only made Jennifer hurt more. Colin reassured he wouldn't leave, and Jennifer believed him. But, the fact that Helen could have a child of his, and she could not, hurt more than she could have imagined. She'd become too full of that pain, and didn't want Colin to comfort her anymore. She couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes when she gave into hers. They had already gone back to Vancouver for filming, but she wasn't needed on set today, so she'd stayed home, practically doing nothing until Colin came home.

Colin came home from filming late that day. It had been a long day. It hurt him that she was pushing him away and that she was basically ignoring him. He was starting to get angry and frustrated about it. He understood her pain, but he was trying to help. He was in a lot of pain too.

Jen's sitting on the couch, holding Ava like she's a baby. She's got her eyes closed, and is sitting back, like she's asleep, but she's not.

He sits next to her, but doesn't say anything in case she's sleeping. He kisses her forehead gently.

Her eyelids flutter as he does, and then he knows she's awake. Yet, she doesn't say anything, not a 'hello' or a kiss back.

Colin sighs and sits back, sinking into the couch. She was ignoring him again. "They may say ignorance is bliss, but it's anything but," he mumbles.

It hurt to hear the tone in his voice, she knows she's hurting him by avoiding his comfort, but she would hurt him even more if she let him see the pain. She gets up, letting go of Ava. These last few days, she'd been sleeping in the guest's room, so he could sleep soundly through the night. She didn't want to tell him what was going on, she knew he would beg to comfort her.

He was frustrated now, maybe even mad. But he wasn't one for yelling. "Fine, just get up and leave. Don't look at me, don't talk to me, pretend I don't exist! Of course I'm fine with that. I might as well just go rent an apartment or something you know."

Her heart ached at his words; the tears seem to be coming early today. "Colin," she says softly, putting her face in her hands. She sighs and turns around, facing him, "I love you." Closing her eyes, she continues, "But I can't do this..."

He shakes his head. "Excuse me please," he says, walking past her to make his way upstairs.

He hadn't said it back... She sighs once more and just heads to the guest's room. There, she climbs into bed and it doesn't take long before it hits.

Colin goes to the room and shuts the door behind him with a sigh. Why did it have to be like this? He wasn't able to understand. He decided maybe a shower would calm him down. After that, he comes out of the room and goes downstairs.

She usually takes a while to calm down enough to sleep. Tonight is no exception. She tries to muffle her cries, so there's no chance Colin will hear. But, she doesn't know that in the dead silence of the house, if he stood outside her door, just as he was now he would hear her.

The sounds of her cries, the picture of her in tears breaks his heart. He leans his forehead against the door for a few seconds before he slowly opens it, going to the side of her bed and sitting down.

She hadn't heard him come in, but was lost to her own pain. On nights like this, she'd just think about when Helen's baby would come, and it made her even madder that she could not have a child. She'd wonder what her pain would feel like then, at her first sight of seeing Colin hold his daughter. Yes, he had been told it would be a girl. That was when she began shutting him out, little by little, as her hurt increased. In her head, she would always see the little girl with the blonde hair and blue eyes that Colin and she were supposed to have had.

Colin hesitantly wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her towards him before letting go. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I love you, I really do." He felt bad. He had been so inconsiderate about her pain, that all he could think of was himself. "I was thinking about me and not you. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "Don't apologize." She turns to look at him, her eyes red with tears, "I love you, too. Please go upstairs and sleep."

He wipes the remaining tears from her cheeks. "Let me sleep with you?" he asks. The absence of her in his arms didn't feel right.

"But you won't sleep if I'm crying all night," she whispers very softly.

His face falls as he heard her words.

"You won't cry. I'll make sure to help you feel better," he whispers.

She looks up into his eyes and finds the man she loves in just the same pain as her, her instincts are to comfort him. She reaches for his hand, hinting he lied down with her. "I'm sorry."

He lies down with his arms around her, pulling her towards him. "It's okay. It's been a rough while for both of us," he whispers.

Jen nods, "I shouldn't have pushed you away, I just didn't want you to get hurt," she whispers.

"Shh, it's okay. Just sleep, okay?" he requests before pressing a soft gentle kiss on her lips.

She nods a little; she did feel better in the warmth and comfort of his arms. "Thanks, I love you," she whispers once more and closes her eyes.

"I love you more." he kisses her forehead.

She smiles and comforts herself with the rhythm of his breathing until she falls asleep. He smiles when she falls asleep and kisses her lips softly once more before closing his eyes.

In the middle of the night, around 3 AM, Jennifer awakes to the sound of a phone ringing- Colin's. Colin is deeply asleep and hadn't heard it. She gets up and gets it from the bedside table. _Helen_ reads the caller ID. She's not sure if she should answer, or attempt waking him up. But she didn't have time to do that, so she answers, "Uh, Helen?"

"Jennifer? Uh is Colin there?"

"He's sleeping, Helen are you okay?" Oh no.

"I uh... I just had the baby."

It takes her a couple seconds to reply. "Oh, gosh," she whispers into the phone. "Do you need Colin?" she asks, already waking him up.

"Yes please."

"Mhm? What is it?" Colin asks in sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes.

"Helen. Your baby," is all she says, her voice breaking.

He sits up. "Oh, crap…" He says quietly. "She on the phone?" he mouths.

Jen nods, hands the phone to him and sits on the edge of the bed, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, watching him.

"Hello?"

Helen explains to Colin that she'd had the baby earlier, that she was healthy, but that he needed to come sign papers for the hospital. He didn't want to go now, but he had a job to do. So he hangs up and tells Jen he has to go. She doesn't say anything and watches as he gets ready to leave quickly. He hugs her goodbye and she actually whimpers when his arms leave her. His face is beautifully thorn, he doesn't want to leave her but he must.

He kisses her lips lightly after putting his jacket on. "I'll be back soon, okay? I love you."

She was going to offer to come with, but she didn't know if she really should or could. "Love you," she whispers back

He smiles slightly. He wanted her to come with him, but that would only make both of them feel worse about not being able to have a child. After a second he grabs his phone and gives her one last kiss before heading out.

She smiles politely, as always in pain. When he leaves, she goes to sit on the couch reluctantly, sighing as she lies down and tries not to think about it.

Colin doesn't take long to get to the hospital. He hopes he can meet the baby today. No matter what, she's still his daughter. Evan had been taken care of by a friend of Helen's these last few days, since Jen had not been able to. But, Colin was to pick him up here and take him so Helen could have a couple weeks of adjusting to the new baby. Once he gets to the hospital, he asks where he can find her at the desk in the maternity ward. They point in the direction of the room and he walks to it. Helen's inside with the baby, they'd told him.

He smiles a little when he enters and sees Helen and the baby. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Helen smiles back politely, "Hey," she glances at the little crib next to her. "I'm okay, it went well."

Colin goes to the bed closer to her and the baby. "I'm glad it did."

"Her name is Madison," she says. "If she opens her eyes, you'll see they're like yours."

He smiles a little and goes over to her. He was so conflicted. He was really happy. After all, he had a daughter. But he was also heartbroken because he could never have this with Jen, whom he loved so dearly.

Colin went over to the baby and kissed her forehead. "Hey, Madison," he whispered.

Helen smiles from her bed, watching him. She didn't know about Jen not being able to conceive. No one but Jen's family knew.

He smiles a little when the baby opens her eyes.

"You can hold her if you want to," Helen says. "Sorry I called this late, just didn't know if I should have waited."

He smiles slightly and picks Madison up gently. "It's okay, don't worry about it."

Helen just nods and watches with a smile as he crosses the room with Madison in his arms. Not more than half an hour goes by when she reminds him to make sure to pick up Evan and says, "I don't want to keep you here so early in the morning. You must have to work tomorrow."

He nods. "I won't forget. Are you okay to be here alone with her?" he asks. "If there's anything you need, just call me, okay?"

"I'll be alright. She's not too much to handle," she says as Colin goes to put Madison in her arms. "If you'd like to visit tomorrow, we'll still be here."

He smiles slightly. "I'll drop by soon."

He leaves and makes sure to pick up Evan on the way back to Jen's house. When he gets there, she's sleeping on the couch. He puts Evan to bed and then kisses Jen's forehead before picking her up and taking her to her room and putting her in the bed. She's already in her pajamas so he covers her. Once again, he slips in beside her and sleeps with her wrapped in his arms. She felt so fragile, so unlike the woman he knew just a few months ago. He wishes he could just freeze that moment and keep her in his arms, He wished nothing would ever harm her and she wouldn't hurt again. He wished things were different and she could have a child-that they could have a child.

But they had each other, and for him that was enough. He would enjoy what he had with her, they didn't need anything else. These nights with her in his arms, their Starbucks dates, making dinner for her, car rides to work, all of these and more are what counted. It's the little things in their intertwined lives that mattered.

* * *

><p><strong>Why does that feel like an ending? Well it certainly is not. So I gave you two chapters tonight. I'll most likely update again next week. I always try and get these out as soon as I can. Anyway, you know the drill, review!<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning, Jennifer wakes by herself, the absence of Colin besides her causing her heart to lodge in her chest as she remembers the events of last night. Colin is downstairs with Evan. He has to work today, and Jen has to try her first shot at babysitting all by herself. This wasn't going to be easy for her at all, and they both knew it.

Colin didn't really want to leave Evan with Jen. It wasn't because he didn't trust her or anything, he just felt bad. He didn't want her to feel obligated to watch him or to feel even worse about them not being able to have a child. He could not bear to see her in such pain. He did not want to be the cause of it. Indirectly or at all.

Jen heads downstairs, Colin's holding Evan while pouring some cereal for him. Her instincts tell to help. So she grabs Evan, places a kiss on Colin's cheek and whispers good morning, then goes to place Evan on his highchair.

"Thanks," Colin smiles slightly and gives the food to Evan. He kisses Jen's cheek. "Are you sure you're okay to watch him? I don't want you to feel-"

"I'll be fine," she interrupts and gives him a slight smile before reaching to kiss his cheek. "Is Helen okay? And the baby..."

He nods. "Yes, they're good," he keeps his answers short and vague. He does not want to hurt her even more.

"Do I get to meet her?" she knew Helen wasn't a threat to them. But, she really shouldn't be doing this- torturing herself with wanting to meet Colin's child.

"You can... I don't know if that's the best thing emotionally, but you can."

"Oh..." she looks down, "maybe later. I'll just... I'll stay with Evan." She turns and sits on the chair closest to Evan.

"I just don't want to see you in that much pain again," he looks down and says softly.

She nods from her chair and distracts herself with the two year old. "Are you working late today?"

"I'm not sure. My schedule said that my work hours were to be determined, so I'll make sure to tell you."

"Okay, don't worry. We'll be fine anyway," she smiles slightly.

He kisses her cheek and smiles slightly but it fades. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah I'll be waiting," she whispers against his lips. He kisses Evan's forehead goodbye and shortly after, leaves the house.

* * *

><p>After Evan finishes eating, Jennifer takes him from his chair and sits with him on the couch while she looks for something for him to watch on TV.<p>

Evan looks up at her with wide curious eyes. "Pretty," he smiles, giggling innocently.

She figures out what he's trying to say as he touches her face with his little hand.

He furrows his eyebrows a little and then pokes her cheek.

Jennifer laughs slightly. Then she turns him so he's facing her, "Pretty, huh?"

He nods. "Pretty!" he points to her eyes.

She smiles widely and actually finds herself hugging him. This only hurts though, holding him like that she can imagine...

Evan hugs her back and smiles. He spent enough time with her to really like her. He giggles again and kisses her nose.

"Aww aren't you sweet?" she kisses his forehead. "Just like your daddy, huh?"

He raises his eyebrows, "Dada?"

She nods, "Mhm, but he's not here," she shrugs.

"You?" he points at her, wanting to know her name.

She frowns, not understanding. "You're Evan."

He points to himself. "Evan." Then he points to Jen, "You?"

"Oh," she smiles. "Jennifer."

He frowns and open his mouth to try, but doesn't say anything.

"Jen," she makes it easier for him. "Say 'Jen'."

"Jen...Jen? Jen!" he giggles, clapping his hands at his accomplishment.

She laughs slightly. "Yes! Jen!" she laughs a little more

He giggles and kisses her nose again, getting a little slobber on it.

She crinkles her nose and giggles, as well. "Come on," she takes him upstairs. "Wanna go play? To the park?"

"Park!" Evan giggles and claps.

"I like you, Evan!" She smiles and puts his jacket on him. "You're very sweet."

He smiles and holds his arms out. "I like you!" he struggles with the words, but she understands.

She smiles wider and kisses his cheek. "Come on," she picks him up and puts him in his crib. "Wait a minute." She goes to her closet to change.

He sits there with his thumb in his mouth just waiting for her.

She comes out shortly, fully dressed and with her boots already on, and picks him up. "Now, where do you wanna go?" she asks.

"Park! Dada?"

"Daddy's working, baby Evan," she says. As she walks down the stairs with him, she asks, "and your mommy?"

"Mommy with baby!" he says loudly, like he's proud to know.

"Yeah," she smiles tightly, "you have a sister?"

He nods. "Maddy," he says slowly, trying to say it right but with no real success.

"Oh?" Jen didn't know her name, but she understood that that's what Evan was trying to say. "I wanna see her," she frowns, "but your daddy says no."

She sighs, "Come on, let's go." She grabs the keys and takes him to the car.

She gets him in the car and drives to a nearby, small park where she knows they won't be bothered. They spend the afternoon there, and she grabs him nuggets and fries after. Evan's exhausted when they get home so she changes him and puts on something on the TV for him to watch while she sits with him in her arms and he slowly falls asleep. After he does, she watches him, smiling. But soon her smile fades. There's an ache in her chest, as her pain comes back. Her heart shatters as it hits her for what seems like the millionth time. This is what she could never have.

Colin doesn't come home late. So when he gets there, he finds Jennifer still holding a sleeping Evan in her arms. He approaches them and smiles when he sees her with Evan. But it fades as he sees a single tear slipping out of her closed eyes. "Hey," he says quietly with a smile, kissing her cheek.

"Hi," she responds. She looks up to him with a soft look on her face. "How did today go?"

"Good," he smiles slightly. "I got you Starbucks." He sets it on the coffee table.

"Thanks baby," she smiles at him. "Evan's been asleep for a while, he's tired."

"Yeah?" he asks softly. "You tired him out?" he teases, wanting-no, needing-to see her smile, hear her laugh.

"I took him to the park," she laughs slightly. "It was fun!"

"What'd you guys do?"

"Well, we spent most of the day at the park, then I grabbed him something to eat and when we got home he was so tired that he fell asleep watching TV."

He sits next to her and kisses her cheek. "You'd make a great mot-" he stops and his smile fades. "I'm sorry..." In the moment, seeing her smile, it'd slipped his mind.

She looks down, "It's okay. Evan seems to think so, too."

"Yeah?" he asks softly.

Jen nods, "He really likes me." She smiles remembering, "Called me pretty."

"He's right."

Jen blushes, "He told me about the baby? Her name starts with an M?"

"Madison. Her name is Madison. I was thinking and... We could go see her if you'd like."

"I like it," she smiles at the name. "Oh, are you sure?"

Colin nods. Jen wanted to see his daughter. He did not want to say no. He was just concerned about how it would affect her.

"Okay, just let me know when," she says softly. "Colin?" She turns to him.

"Yes?" He asks curiously.

"I really want a baby," she looks away from his eyes. "Taking care of Evan today, it felt different, and I want that. I know we can adopt, but I'm not sure if that would only cause me more pain. I just wanted to tell you."

He sighs, looking down. "I know... It's hard... Seeing you this way with Evan breaks my heart because we won't be able to have that on our own."

"I wish we did," she looks back up, "But I guess we can't do anything about it, I'll enjoy just caring for Evan when I can, then. He isn't mine, I know that, but I can do my best to care for him when I get to."

He smiles slightly and presses a soft gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you."

She kisses him back, "And I love you," she whispers against his lips.

He smiles against her lips before pulling away slowly. He grabs the Starbucks and hands it to her. The cup says 'Jennifer' with a heart over the 'I', "It's still hot."

"Right," she gives him a quick kiss before pulling away, and taking her drink. "Take Evan," she picks him up and hands him to Colin.

He takes Evan in his arms. "Thank you for watching him. You didn't have too."

"I liked it," she smiles slightly at seeing Colin hold Evan.

Colin looks down at Evan, kissing his forehead. "I'm glad you did."

Just then, Evan shifts a little and wakes. "Oh, that's how we know it's time for dinner," Jen laughs slightly

"Yes," Colin chuckles. "Hey buddy, ready to eat?"

Evan opens his eyes slowly and looks up at Colin, "Dada?" He rubs his eyes, "Jen?"

He raises his eyebrows, "Jen's here. Want to see her?" He smiles at his son's eagerness to see Jennifer.

"Jen!" he looks around for her, his vibrant blue eyes darting around the room in search for her.

"Here," Jennifer takes his hand.

Evan smiles and reaches for her, smiling widely.

She mirrors his expression and takes him, "Wanna eat?"

He nods, kissing her nose the way he did earlier.

"Come, what do you want?"

"Pasta!" He giggles.

"I don't have any," she shrugs. "We can call for pizza?"

Meanwhile, Colin watches them. He smiles slightly at the way Evan and Jen interact. He knows that while she's happy right now, she's not going to be as happy later.

They order pizza and have dinner together. Jen can envision what a family would have been like for them. It makes her sad. But in the moment, she's happy. At night when Evan goes back to sleep, Jen lies in bed with Colin, not sleeping yet.

"You okay?" he asks softly, turning to look at her.

"No," she responds weakly. "But I will be, eventually."

"Wanna talk about it?" he's concerned. While he does not want to bud in, he also does not want Jen to bottle up her emotions.

"Same as always-a child makes me happy, but I can't have one..." She says sadly. She's not sure if after all this time, whether saying it out loud makes it worse or not.

He frowns and squeezes her hand. "I'm sorry." And it's true. He's sorry that she does not get to do what she's always wanted to do-give birth to a child of her own. Their own. Thinking from her perspective, he can almost feel her pain. It's much more intense than he'd imagine. He does not have the slightest clue how to fix it, but he knows one thing. He'll try.

"I know, oh well," she looks up to him. "I love you, thank you."

Colin forces a slight smile. "I love you, too. Thank you for what?"

"For everything. For loving me, for being with me, for nights like this," she hugs him.

He smiles and hugs her back, holding her close to him. "You're very welcome. And thank you." He whispers, kissing the top of her head softly.

She nods, "My pleasure." She looks up into his eyes briefly before kissing him. "I did like you from the start you know?"

He kisses back. "Yeah?" he whispers against her lips.

"Yeah," she smiles. "Tell me it wasn't just me...?" She bites her lip.

"It's wasn't." He smiles, kissing her nose. "I've always felt drawn to you."

She smiles more, "Good. I did too." She blushes. After a few minutes, they're both about to fall asleep when she whispers softly, "baby?"

"Yes?" he whispers back, looking at her. Even in the dark he can see her enchanting eyes.

"Sing to me?" she breathes, with her eyes closed.

He smiles a little, "Sure." He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her closer and starts to sing softly.

She relaxes in his arms. Listening to him sing always made her very happy.

Jen falls asleep to his soft voice shortly, smiling for once.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry this was not such a good chapter. But hey, you got to see what it would be like if they did have a child. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review, that calls for faster updates!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

Jennifer sleeps soundly through the night. The next morning, she's awakened by a sleepy Evan, who's asking for his mom. She goes to him so Colin won't wake but Evan wants his mom, not Jen.

"Mommy! Want mommy!" Evan yells.

Yawning and rubbing his eyes, Colin sits up, "Hmm?"

Jen walks to Colin, "He wants Helen," she says, her face a mix of hurt and worry.

"Evan, mommy is busy with your sister right now." Colin gets up and takes Evan from his crib. While Evan still wants his mom, he's alright with his dad. He just didn't want Jen right now. Of course this only made Jen sad, only made her wish she had her own child even more—one that didn't have a different mom and would only cry for her.

Once Evan was eating and watching TV downstairs, Colin went back to Jen. "You okay?" he asks, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess," she shrugs. "Are we going to see Helen today?"

Colin nods. "Yeah, you don't have to come though."

"Oh? I wanted to..." she says softly

"You may, then," he smiles.

"_Do_ you want me to come? I understand if you don't… I mean, it's your family," she shrugs again like she doesn't care

"No, it's okay. Come," he smiles crookedly and kisses her cheek.

"Alright," one corner of her mouth turns up into a half smile. "I think we should go downstairs...Evan."

He nods. Let eat first, then we can get ready?"

"Yeah," she nods and heads downstairs.

Once Colin gets breakfast ready and served, he sits next to Jennifer. "I don't believe I got a proper kiss this morning?" he raises an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure I gave you a kiss," she laughs slightly.

He shakes his head with a silent chuckle, taking her face in his hands and bringing her lips to his. "Good morning," he whispers against her lips.

"Hmm..." she pulls him back to her, "now I want a proper kiss," she whispers before kissing him harder, longer. When she breaks it to catch her breath she whispers, "Good morning, babe."

"Good morning, my love," he whispers, and then presses his lips to her temple.

Jen puts her head on his shoulder briefly. Then they get to eating and getting ready to go visit Helen. In no longer than an hour, they're driving to her house, his old house. The drive is very short. Jen is nervous; she doesn't really know how it'll go for her. When they get there and park outside, she hesitates in getting out.

"You okay?" Colin asks her as he gets Evan out of his car seat.

"Yeah," Jennifer sighs, "just nervous, I guess." Helen's never really seen Colin and Jen together like they are now. And just his baby would be so hard for Jen to handle. But she wanted to do this, so she gets out of the car.

"It'll be okay." he says softly as he takes her hand and they make their way to the door.

Colin knocks and Helen doesn't take too long to answer, she had been expecting them. "Hey, come in," she says, not really taking notice of everything going on—the worry on Jen's face, the way Colin and Jen stood so close to each other and that Evan did not take his eyes away from Jen even though his mom was right there. The baby girl must be inside somewhere, as Helen is empty handed.

Colin smiles and puts Evan down once they get in, going to Helen for friendly hug. Their divorce ended on a good note, and he was glad. "How are you? And how's Madison?"

"Oh we've been fine, she loves to sleep," she laughs slightly. From a little behind Colin, Jen gives a shy smile.

Colin chuckles and they both pull away. "That's great."

Helen nods and picks up Evan, smiling at Jen. "Hey Jen."

"Hi Helen," she says softly and her smile's a bit warmer this time. "Um, Evan really misses you." Jen places her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and rocks on her heels uncomfortably.

Helen laughs a little and turns to Evan. "I miss you too buddy," she kisses his cheek.

Jen watches them and tries not to let her emotions show too much. Colin notices and walks to her. "I'm fine," she mouths.

He looks at her as if asking, _you sure?_ It hurts him to see her in pain.

She nods slightly. Helen notices this little exchange but doesn't say anything. "Should I go get Madison?" she asks.

Colin smiles slightly and turns back to Helen, "Yes please."

Jen just smiles politely. Helen goes to get Maddie, and returns in no time with a sleeping baby in her arms. Jen lets out a small "oh" as Helen gets closer and gives the baby to Colin.

Colin smiles and holds Madison in his arms. "Hey baby girl," he whispers, kissing her forehead.

Jen watches and her desire for their own baby—for Colin to hold her baby and for them to have their own family grows. Helen notices and walks over to Jen, "are you okay?" she asks. Jennifer nods slightly, but doesn't say a word.

"You sure?" she asks softly.

Colin hears this and says, "I think she's acting up," so Helen gets distracted and Jen doesn't have to answer.

Helen goes over to get Madison and Colin looks at Jen with a concerned frown.

But Jen steps closer, "Evan told me her eyes are like Colin's," she says with a smile, trying to act normal, knowing this will hurt. Evan had told her a little about Maddie on their trip to the park the previous day.

Helen nods, rocking the baby as she starts to cry. "Yeah, she does," Helen says with a smile but is distracted.

"Maybe when she calms down a bit, I'll be able to see them?" Jennifer asks. "She's very pretty, Helen."

Helen smiles much more warmly, "Yeah, and thank you. You can hold her if you want, after?"

"Yeah, sure," Jen nods, "whenever." She steps back so she's next to Colin again.

After a while, when Madison calms down, Helen walks over to Jen to let her hold the baby.

Helen holds Madison out for Jen, and Jen takes her cautiously. She cradles her and brings her close, her eyes look at Madison in wonder.

Madison slowly opens her eyes after a few minutes and looks up at Jen, revealing her vibrant blue eyes.

Jen smiles down at her, "Hello," she says softly. "Your eyes are beautiful."

Madison just stares at Jen, there's nothing else she can do.

Jen looks up at Colin, and he steps in front of them. "Her eyes are really like yours..." she says as she looks into his eyes.

He smiles slightly, a bit sadly, "Yeah?"

"Look," she glances down before looking back up to him. An overwhelming amount of emotions tear through and show on her face.

He looks at her with the same smile still on his lips, he's about to say something but then stops, remembering that Helen is here. Madison starts crying and Helen quickly comes and takes her upstairs with Evan trailing behind. The moment they all exit the room, Colin pulls Jen into a hug.

Jen lets herself cry just a little bit on his shoulder. "I guess it's not going well, huh?" she says through her tears.

He rubs her back, kissing the top of her head. "Not as well as we could hope, but this is very understandable," he whispers.

"I'm trying," she whispers. "She looks a lot like you. I wanted a girl. That's what's so hard."

"I know you are," he whispers. "Oh, my beautiful, it's hard for me too. It'll be okay," he says slowly, holding her close.

"I love you," she whispers in his ear.

"I love you too," he whispers.

Helen comes down shortly, not making much noise. Colin and Jen are still wrapped in each other's arms. As soon as Jen sees Helen, she breaks away and wipes her tears away.

Colin looks at her questioningly but then sees Helen. "Is Madison okay?" he asks softly.

"Yeah I managed to put her to sleep. I told you she loved sleep!" she says with a smile. She had noticed there was something more going on, though.

"Just like her dad then," Jen laughs through her fading tears.

Colin chuckles softly, squeezing Jens hand. Helen looks from Jen to Colin, and back to Jen. "Everything okay?" she asks.

Evan comes up from behind Helen, "Jen!" he calls and slowly walks to her. Jen reaches for Evan and nods for Colin to tell Helen what's going on. Colin walks towards Helen and motions for her to follow him into the other room.

He sits on the couch and waits for Helen to do the same.

Once Helen sits down, Colin looks up. "I guess you've figured out something's wrong?"

"Get to it," she says. "Yeah, is there something wrong with you? With Jennifer?"

"We've been together for a while and... And we've been trying to start a family," he pauses and breaths in deeply, "She can't have a baby..."

Helen looks straight ahead, she feels bad, but she's also shocked. What are the chances someone could not conceive? Very small. So how come Jen had to be it? Helen had the best intentions for them, and she could not believe it.

Colin sighs, looking down. "It's been a hard couple of months."

"Oh, Colin I'm so sorry. Are you sure there's no way she could conceive a child?" Colin shakes his head. "And being with Evan right now…Madison…all that must hurt her. Oh I'm so sorry." Helen puts her face in her hands.

He sighs, running a hand though his hair. "I didn't want her to get hurt, but she wanted to come," he says softly.

Helen nods, "We should go get Evan," she says, worried that Evan would cause Jen more pain. "I shouldn't bring Madison down again, should I?"

He shakes his head no. "I don't think so," he frowns. But nods at getting Evan.

Helen sighs, "Okay," she leaves the room and finds her way outside, where Jen's walking around with Evan in her arms.

Evan kisses Jen's cheek. "Jen pretty!" he giggles.

Jennifer kisses his forehead, unaware of Helen behind her, but Evan sees Helen and smiles at her.

Helen frowns slightly, but brushes it off. "Hey," she calls out.

Jen turns around; a smile on her face, Evan hugged to her. The smile fades as soon as she sees Helen, "Oh, hi," she looks down.

"I'm uh... I'm really sorry about what's going on," she says, the tone of her voice showing her regret.

Jen nods, "Thank you," she smiles sadly.

Evan clings to Jen. "Love Jen," he says.

"Mhm," she smiles genuinely and looks at him. "I love you, too."

He giggles and kisses her nose. "Tired," he complains.

"Sleep," she says softly and kisses his forehead. Evan lies on her shoulder. Jen looks back up at Helen. "I'll be fine."

Helen smiles slightly and nods. "I can take Evan upstairs if you'd like?"

"Sure, if you want to," she takes him in both arms and hands him to her.

"Thanks." Helen starts to take him upstairs. "Bye Jen Jen," Evan says tiredly.

"Buh bye, baby," Jen responds sadly and follows inside to find Colin.

Colin looks at her with a sad smile when she enters. "You okay?" he asks softly.

"I'm okay," she walks towards him. "Is Helen gonna keep Evan now?"

He nods, pulling her towards him. "Yeah, she is."

"Oh okay," Jen puts her forehead on his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, I promise." he whispers, pecking her lips softly.

"I hope so," she pecks his lips back before pulling away. "We should go?"

* * *

><p>They have lunch right after, not much really goes on. Jennifer barely talks. At night, after dinner, she gives him a kiss on the cheek as he washes the dishes then she heads upstairs.<p>

Colin finishes washing the dishes and sits on the couch for a few minutes to think. It's bothering her. He can tell. And that hurts him. He doesn't want to see her hurt.

She stays upstairs and soon turns on the TV. She watches _The Princess Bride,_ one of her favorite movies. Ava comes up to her in the bed and lies by her feet.

Not too long later, Jen hears a knock on the door. Colin. She calls to him to come in. He enters and lies next to her on the bed. Jen puts her arms around him without saying a word.

He kisses her forehead, but doesn't say anything.

She snuggles to him and smiles at the comfort he brings her.

Colin smiles slightly and kisses her neck softly. She doesn't pull away, but neither does he. After a couple of minutes, he begins tugging at her shirt. Jen doesn't think he'll take it far, and she needed a little release too. She giggles and lets him continue, not realizing that this leads him on.

He brings his lips back up to hers and Jen just keeps kissing him, until he removes her shirt and cups her right breast. Her heartbeat increases. "Colin…no," she whispers and pulls back.

"I'm not ready," she says softly and places her hand on his forearm, "I'm sorry. I need time."

"No, it's okay. I should be the one apologizing..." he places a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"No you shouldn't, I get it. I really do," she smiles sadly. "You don't have to apologize."

"How about I go make some popcorn and we can finish the movie?"

"I'd like that," she nods. As soon as he leaves, she gets up and walks to the bathroom, locking herself in.

"Jen?" Colin calls when he returns and she's nowhere in sight.

She clears her throat, "I'll be right out," she says just loud enough for him to hear. She takes a deep breath and tries to stop herself from crying.

He goes to the door concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine," she responds much too quickly to be believable.

"Baby, what is it?" he leans against the wall and asks quietly.

"Nothing," she sighs. "Give me a minute. I'll be right there."

She comes put a few minutes after. Her face flushed and obviously agitated. She looks down to hide it as she climbs back on the bed where he's sitting.

Colin still notices and it hurts him, but he doesn't say anything. He knows that she needs her space. So he just offers her the popcorn.

Jen takes a little, for his sake. Then just sighs as she lies back down.

He frowns but doesn't turn the movie back on. He just watches her.

She closes her eyes. After a moment she says, "I want to Colin. But it's too much of a reminder of what I'll never be able to do."

"Hey," he says quietly, looking her in the eyes. "It's alright. I understand."

"I know you do," she nods. "Come here," she holds out her arms for him.

He pulls her into a hug. "It'll be okay."

"Yeah," she nods and kisses his cheek, making her way to his mouth, "I can still kiss you, though."

He chuckles, bringing his lips to hers, "Sounds good to me."

She giggles. "I love you," she whispers against his lips. After a few more minutes of that, she pulls away and sighs contently.

Colin says, "Want to go out tonight? Since you'd rather not do other things?" He smiles at her, biting his lips. "We can go out for dinner if you'd like."

She turns to look at him and smiles genuinely. "I'd like that, should I get ready?"

He nods and kisses her softly before she gets up and heads to the shower, her face was still a mess from the momentary breakdown earlier.

Colin quickly goes to the other shower, and then gets dressed.

Jennifer puts on a black, tight and short dress. Quickly she tries to get some waves in her hair before coming out of the bathroom, red lips and rosy cheeks.

He puts on a pair of nice black slacks and a light blue top before going to her. He smiles when he sees her. "You look stunning."

She glances down at him, from his feet, she looks up to his gorgeous blue eyes and bites her lower lip, "Mhmm, so do you."

He smiles and kisses her cheek before taking her hand. "Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for not updating sooner, but you know... school : I hope the next chapter can come soon, and that you enjoyed this one. Don't forget to leave a review, those really make me see that this is worth it!**


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